Monday, April 29, 2013

The Lord is building me into a mansion


I am doing a lot better! Thanks for all the prayers.  Last week I did send a letter to president about what happened, but it wasn't as detailed as the letter I sent to you guys.  I just really didn't want to make a big deal out of it, all the things . . . . well most of them were true.  I had been having a bad attitude, but it just hurt because the way they presented it was that I was the problem in the companionship and they didn't see the part they played.  But we had zone conference on Tuesday and President asked me if I was okay and if we needed to talk.  I told him I was fine, cause I just really didn't want anymore drama with my companions.

On Tuesday night, I called her out when she started ripping into me. What happened is it was my turn for the phone and all day I had been calling people when they asked me to with a smile on my face, even though calling people is so hard.  Then at the end of the day I had forgotten to call one person, so I asked her what I needed to say to this person.  Because one thing they had said to me was ask more questions when I'm confused, and I was confused.  She got super mad and asked if I had been paying attention in the planning session, and why I had waited to call them until the night and all this stuff.  But I wasn't going to take it again.  I told her, in a lot softer words than she would have used, that she needed to change too, and that I wouldn't sit there and let her tell me that I had done something wrong when I had only done what she asked.  I told her that I had been doing everything she asked.  I had improved my attitude, I had been asking more questions when I was confused, and now I'm getting in trouble for it.

She realized that what I was saying was true.  Basically that she had been seeing the mote in my eye and didn't realize she had a beam in hers.  So after that, and another companionship inventory on Thursday when she said that our other companion and I were planning the wrong way, and asked us if we had learned anything in the past 9 weeks or if we read PMG, I straight up told her she couldn't accuse us of that. Her words were harsh and she made the other hermana cry. Sometimes she just makes me feel like a terrible missionary, but I didn't let her hurt me that time because I knew that I had done my part to change and now it was her turn. So things are a lot better in that respect.

Also, I got so much mail! A package with a skirt and food, basketball bracket. Also, shout out to Amy, Melissa, Jenny and Tom, Mary and Grammie! You guys are so awesome! Your words and encouragement really helped me get through a hard time.

So I forgot my agenda today which had everything I was going to email. I still have no details about mothers day because we don't know what will happen with changes, but I can probably get special permission to send an email with details.

We had a baptism this week for E**! She is such a special girl and getting her baptized was so hard. The ward was just really difficult to work with. They were resisting the baptism the whole way. But the neighbor of E** who is basically the reason E** got baptized, set them straight. Mom, you two would be best friends. She doesn't mince words and when somethings wrong, she will call you out! She basically saved the baptism and it was so great!

E**'s Baptism!
She saved the baptism

Blah, I just forgot everything I was going to write.  We did see miracles this week.  We taught with more unity and with more power. One of our investigators told us she knew the church was true and accepted a baptism date!  MT**, I don't know if I've ever talked about her before, but I don't have time to give all the details. But her and her husband are golden! They just had a problem with Jose Smith . . . but now MT** is a believer! We just got to get her husband.

We also found a solid family last night. P* and J*. P* told us that just that morning she had been asking how she could know if there was a true church on the earth!!  What? It was great! We have a lot of hope for them. But changes are next week, and I can't lie when I say I am counting down the days. We don't know what's going to happen.  A part of me wants to stay here and see the progression of our investigators, and a part of me wants to just start over new and leave this place behind. But we'll see.

The mission is hard, that's not a lie. But the Lord knows what we need to strengthen us. The Lord had to show me my weaknesses so I could change. This week I read the parable of the wise man and the foolish man, and something I remembered that Cheri Crawford said a few years ago is that the storm came to both men. The Lord doesn't hold back trials from the righteous. Everyone will pass through storms, but if you are built on His rock, He promises that you will not fall.

What happens is that during the storm the weak parts of your house break and fall away. Then when the storm is over you can start to build back the broken parts stronger than before. The storm always comes, but built on His foundation, the damage will never be unfixable or unhealable. The Lord is building me into a mansion, when I only thought I could be a town house. But it's hard. The storms break down walls and shatter windows, but He is always right next to me during the storm and afterwards to help me build back, with blueprints that were better than before.

So I'm doing better. Right now I am still rebuilding and hopefully I will be more prepared for WHEN the next storm hits.

Oh, President called me last night to ask for permission to put something I had written in one of my past emails in the President's email this week.  He always has a spiritual thought, and it usually is taken from what missionaries say in their emails. When he was talking to me he said that I always had really good emails, and I had very profound thoughts! Basically I'm amazing!! So that was awesome to hear that from President!

Oh, I got the baptism pics . . . thanks! Also, if you could find a way to send me Mary's emails I would love that! And you can always dear elder her my emails!

Well, I love you all.  Thanks for all the support! Not everyone in the mission field has that!

Love siempre, Hermana Ostler

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