Tuesday, April 16, 2013

I had to be the leader!

First of all that was the best email ever!  Basically exactly what I needed to hear. So we didn't email yesterday because we went to the temple so today is our pday.  Doing the veil in Spanish was so hard!  Oh but the temple was amazing.  I think being a missionary makes you forget what peace feels like.

you're not going to get a long email cause I wrote a long letter to president and I printed out the recipes and your email cause I just loved it!  Oh and it was a long email but it was exactly what I needed.  Literally I was sitting here sobbing.

Basically it was a rough week.  I got sick again on Monday night and on Tuesday I had no energy.  Like I have never been that weak in my life.  Then on Wednesday I lost hearing in my left ear, now my right.  Its that same thing that happened to me at the beginning of last semester.  My ears are just clogged up and it sucks!  Cause now I really don't know whats going on.  

This week I started having some trouble.  I'm not going to tell you everything, cause I am trying to be positive and venting never helps.  But basically it's just a little trouble with a companion.  Its just hard to follow her sometimes. But I have prayed continually for love and charity.  If Mormon could love his wicked soldiers, I can do this.  I am here to be the type of missionary God wants me to be.  Right now he is teaching me humility and patience.  Basically the hardest Christlike attributes to learn . . for me!

We lost O**, so that was a bummer.  But I felt him slipping away, and I guess this just isn't his time.  But I know, someday, probably in the next life, he will accept this gospel.  Then in the next world he will find me, shake my hand with both of his like he always does, and he will smell like old people and soap, and he will thank me for trying.

So that's how the first half the of week went.  I was pretty down, but it was a different type of down than from the beginning of my mission.  I wasn't frustrated with myself for feeling down, or upset, I realized that those feelings are part of the mission, and that I would be stronger in the end.

On Friday we found this amazing family.  M* T*, C* and their four kids.  They are really open to the gospel and they are already married!  They came to church with us on Sunday, which was an act of faith! All their kids are under 9! Three boys and a 5 month old baby girl!  Oh, it hurts me not to be able to hold that baby!!  But, church was basically like daycare entertaining those boys.  I haven't played the piano in church yet, cause another sister plays too and I've only attended 2 sacrament meetings in this transfer.  But I am playing for the primary and the AP called me and asked if I would play in zone conference next week.  The two songs he picked aren't in English so I don't know them, but we got special permission to barrow the extra keyboard the church has.  So now I practice at night and I just love it!

On Saturday we had a stake activity.  All the youth in the stake and all the missionaries in the stake got together, and each youth was assigned a missionary.  I got assigned two young woman, 12 and 13.  Then they gave us a map of a small area and a list of antigo investigators to go visit.  We had two hours to work on the streets with them, and basically I was on my own . . no trainer!  I had to be the leader!  It was scary and I didn't know if I was a good enough missionary to teach these girls how to be missionaries, but I really wanted them to have a good experience.  I was just praying for help.

In the beginning they were super nervous, and didn't want to talk to anyone.  I explained to them how to contact someone, and they just didn't want to.  So I went first, showing by example, what to do, and what to say.  Then they still didn't want to.  So we did a practice.  I pretended to be a random person and they practiced contacting me.  Then it was the real thing!

The first time I had to save them cause they just didn't know what to do, but they got better.  I would point to a person, and give them a card and stand by them as they told the person we were member of the Church of Jesus Christ and we had a message for them.  After the two hours were up they were knocking doors themselves, and asking me for a pamphlet to hand out, or a card.  They even placed a Book of Mormon!  Oh I was so proud of them! They saved me a couple times when my Spanish failed.

I really loved that activity.  It made me realize that I can do this.  You're right mom, I am so blessed!  Those two girls are actually in our ward and so I get to talk to them all them time, and I think I am their favorite:)

That Catholic lady I committed to baptism . . yeah, we haven't revisited her again.  That goes back to some other frustrations I have.  So I'm not sure if she will progress.  Blah, its just so frustrating cause there is nothing I can do about it.  But we have been teaching Estrella, and I have really connected with her.  She is only 8 but she understands everything and she really wants to be baptized!  I listen to her, and teach her like a person instead of a number. Yesterday her mom gave her permission to be baptized and I was just so happy!

So the mission is still good . .. hard but good.  What doesn't kill you makes you stronger right?  Yep, that's what I tell myself everyday.  I was pretty homesick this week, but your email just helped so much!  I love you all!!!

Love always, Hermana Ostler

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