|We are gangstas!|
Okay, so my email is late because yesterday we had zone conference. I love zone conference! But, thanks for all your advice. I am doing better now, though the week had a really rough start. But, after a good long cry, that was much needed and brought on by nothing in particular, I was able to get back up and keep going. Actually, something that Hermana P said after weekly planning time really helped me change my perspective.
You see, our sector is kinda floundering and I just don’t know what to do about it. After having a heart breaking weekly planning where I came to realize that we have very few investigators, and I ran out of doors to knock about a month and a half ago, I became discouraged, cause I didn’t know what else I could do for my sector. Then Hermana P said, "Maybe we should be more grateful for what we have." She then went on to mention the few investigators we have, and how we found them, and how the Lord led us to them. She mentioned that every day we talk to new people, even though it seems like we have already talked to everyone. Then she mentioned that God can’t bless us more if we don’t even realize the blessings we already have.
She was spot on, and I found myself repenting for my ingratitude. The situation can be compared to the following:
There is a young family in our ward who has a son named Al. Al has 1.5 years, and his mom lets him feed himself (which is rare here in Chile cause usually moms will breastfeed their children until they have 3 years or more.) But, he eats normal food, his only problem is that he loves to just stuff his mouth full! He just piles his mouth with food, and forgets to chew, until his mouth is so full that he can't swallow. His mom then takes his spoon away and he cries. But, she softly explains "You can’t keep putting food in. There is no room. Chew what you have." He must first realize that his mouth is full of food, and that no more will fit if he doesn’t chew it first.
I think that God sometimes feels like the mother of Al. He lets us have our blessings, and sometimes He will fill us up until we are so full of blessings that "there is not room enough to receive them." But often, we are like Al, and we don’t realize what we have, so we open our mouth wider and ask for more. But, God cannot bless us if we don’t realize what we already have. Sometimes our mouth is so full of food, but like Al, we keep asking for more instead of being satisfied with what we already have.
So, after this realization, my focus of the week was to be more grateful for the blessings I have. It didn’t turn out to be the best week of my mission, and it was still strung with challenges and moments of discouragement, but at the end, when no one came to church, and when C* got sick so that he couldn’t be confirmed, I lifted my head up and looked for the blessing that surrounded me and, like Al, I realized my mouth was already full.
This week we also had intercabios, and I got to work here in vivaceta with Hermana Ireland. We are co-mothers of Hermana Morley. It was super fun working with her. Actually we just rocked the sector together. She is also going to BYU after the mission. We actually arrived in Chile together but she was in the MTC longer, so she is leaving in like 2 months! CRAZINESS! Wow, it just goes so fast.
When I was with Hermana Ireland, we started talking about how fast the mission has gone, and as I looked back over my time here, I got a little discouraged. She asked to see my pictures, so we spent the night looking at each others mission pictures and family pictures. I looked at myself in the pictures, and I thought of who I am today. If you compare the two there isn’t much of a difference. I still have long brown hair, green eyes. I’m still 5'6. One might say I am the same person, and that’s true. But, there are some things that a picture can’t capture. The pictures don’t show the trails, the tears, the laughter, the small victories, the disappointment, the experience, and the lessons learned. The only thing a picture does is freeze one moment. A moment that soon becomes a memory. A picture can’t show development, and often, one cannot even see the development in themselves. But its there. The change happened, and sometimes the only one who can truly see it, is the one who looks at the heart, and not the frozen smile. I think that God, my heavenly father, is the only one who can truly see the progress I have made, however little it may be. And He is the only one who sees where that progress will take me.
Well, there was my soul search for the week. I hope you enjoyed. Sorry I don’t have much time to write. But I love you all, and pray for you often . . and by often I mean every day . . jajaja! Love ya!