Monday, June 24, 2013

We are here to teach, for crying in a bucket!!

Dear Familia!
My week was busy too, but at the end of the day I didn't get to jump in the pool:( Missionary work is super, super, super hard!  There are so many times when I think it would just be easier to give up and go home.  But I don`t, and sometimes I don't know why I keep going.  But I do.  The only thing I can do is get on the path, and just keep going, and never give up.

So like I said, this week was super busy.  We are teaching a joven se llama J**, but she doesn't have ganas to go to church, so we were thinking that she needs a friend.  We started thinking through all the young woman in the ward, and no one came to mind.  We have tried so hard to work with members, but everyone is to busy, and no one knows anyone who wants to hear the gospel.  It was been frustrating hearing the same excuses, and same stories from everyone!  We should not have time to knock doors!!  We are here to teach for crying in a bucket, and all we are doing is walking and wearing out our knees! Anyway, I will vent later.

Back to J**.  As we were thinking of who could be her friend, I thought of a ward member who recently came back from the mish.  His name is Milenko (funny right?) Well, I mention this name to Hermana Leyva, and she said "Yeah, but he`s a boy."  I paused and gave her a look.  Then she understood!  She said, "Oh, I get it.  He`s a boy."  So basically we are playing match maker!  Flirt to convert right!

Well, we had an amazing lesson with Milenko and J**.  After the lesson she started saying things like, "I want to bring this book of Mormon with me WHEN I go on a mission."  Yeah, plan was successful!  Also, we have been visiting O* again, but he still doesn't want to get baptized.  He is super old, and sometimes just doesn't understand.  We really want him to accept a fetcha, cause he really doesn't have much time left on this earth!

Also, we found out that R** is actually a member!!  It was super funny.  We were looking through the member list and we saw her name and just started laughing!!  So now we are planning another wedding between R** and O*.
This week we also found a new investigator.  We taught her the first lesson and than invited her to baptism.  Well, I was the one who invited her, and when she said yes, I really didn't know what to say!  Hermana Leyva and I were so surprised, because it was the first lesson we had taught her, and no one accepts baptism on the first date without at least a little convincing!  But, she is older and we don't know if she really understands, so we'll see.

We have also been revisiting some of our old investigators and we started teaching one of the old investigators that the elders before us had taught.  Oh, and we found M** again!! We met him about 6 weeks ago, at the beginning of the last change.  Its a super long story, but he is super bueno, and we could never find him again.  So we kinda gave up passing by. Well, last week we were walking in the street and we saw him!!  So we set up an appointment which fell through three times!  But on Saturday we finally taught him and his wife!  And he accepted fetcha!

So basically we did all this work this week.  Plus we knocked doors, and tried to work with members (Who NEVER SHOW UP) and all the other stuff missionaries do.  So guess how many people we had in Church?   . ..  NO ONE!!

Yesterday was super super discouraging.  We really felt like we had done so much, and tried so hard, and we had nothing to show for it.  J** lost her fetch because she didn't go to church, and now she is leaving on vacation and we don't know when she is coming back, and if she will still want to get baptized.  None of the old investigators that we have been teaching are keeping there compromisos, and none of the new ones are either.  We just felt like failures.  WHY DOES THE MISSION HAVE TO BE SO HARD?  Sometimes I ask myself if I have really learned anything, because here we are starting from square one again. How many times do I have to come back to this point?  How many times will I trip over this same rock and reopen the same wound?

But, yes, we got to see the broadcast yesterday and it was just what Hermana Leyva and I had been talking about.  We had been saying that there is only so much we can do, and if the ward doesn't step up to help us than we will have no success.  Its just so hard because they too have there agency to choose if they will help us or not.  We understand that the only successful way to do missionary work is through the members, but if the members aren't willing to help us then there is nothing we can do.  And I don't know if the message from yesterday is going to change anything.  LATIN AMERICA IS SO SO SO DIFFERENT THAN THE USA!!

So that is where I am at right now.  I guess I feel like I am running a race, but the only person I am racing against is myself, and I have been stressing out because Ive been trying to win, but it is impossible to win against yourself. 

Also, we didn't get mail this week cause it was change week. I love the picture!  And I have a list of things you can send if you feel like it:

1. my setting apart blessing
2. the blessing dad gave me before I left
3. tinted moisturizer from clinique
4. baby hymn book in Spanish, I lost mine :(
5.  Yep, that's all!

I love you all so much!  That is one thing I have learned on my mission.  How much I love my family!!  I miss you all so so so so so much!  But, I'm okay.  Really.  Most of the time I am okay.  

Con Amor, 
Tu Hija, y tu Hermana Ostler

So the letter from president was short, and I didn't send a very long letter to him this week, which means I have extra time to write you!  I'm sure that will make you happy.

Well, I don't really have anything else to say.  But here is some random stuff that happens. Basically I am a profressionaly brownie maker.  I have made a name for myself here in simon bolivar.  Um, I can't really think of anythign else.  I am just happy casue its pday and I get to talk to you guys.  Basically it is the best!  I can just picture all of you sitting around the dinner table reading my email and mom starting to cry, so she passes the phone to chubs to read, but chubs can't keep the tears from coming cause we are like super tight, and he misses me a lot, so than harrison mans up and finishes reading!  Jajaja. 
Sometimes its super weird to think that I am actaully a missionary!  Like weird  and that I llike speak spanish and stuff, and that I'm in chile!  Like really?  I know I've said it a lot, but a mission is hard!  For me, anyway.  And everyone tells you to enjoy it, but sometimes it is hard.  I think our hardest moment in life are the best, but we don't realize it until after. Basically, if I were to go home right now, I would tell all you guys how amazing Chile is, and how much I loved my mission, but the truth is that I haven't loved every second of it, but I haven't hated it either.  I'm not really sure what I am trying to say . .. maybe I'll figure it out later.

Hey Wilson . . . you're awesome!  Just thought I'd tell you!

Hey Benson . .. I love you!

Hey Chubs . .. can't wait to talk to you again!

Hey Harrison . . . you're like leaving on a mission soon!  Dont be scared . . . just be happy! Haha, yeah, its impossoble not to be nervous.  But thats okay.  Remember you are awesome, and you are amazing!

Hey mom and dad . . . congratulations, you just won the best parents of the year award! Love you both!

Oh yeah, and Amanda and Jackson, my two siblings who forgot about me cause they are married . . . I guess you guys are okay too.  No really, you're like amazing!  You both were probably better missionaries than I will ever be!  I think about you two a lot, and wonder if you were ever passing through situation that I pass through, or if you were just super missionaries and never had any problems.  I love you both!  

Okay, I hope you liked my rambling.  Sometimes it is good to ramble.  I like rambling . . . well, actually I just like talking, and its good because Hermana Leyva like listening . . . jajaja..  Hey, I love Hermana Leyva, Harrison if you were a little older you could marry her, cause she really wants to learn Portugues!  She is teaching me a little.

Love you all!  
I just keep saying that becuse it is true! 

Hermana Ostler

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