I hope your hearts have changed

Familia,

Okay, so I don’t have a ton of time to write today cause I had to type up my good bye letter today.  Basically when you are leaving the mission you usually send out a good bye card to everyone you love.  So I typed that up today.  Maybe I'll send you a copy, even though it’s in spanish so you might not understand it. Its actually not that good.  As far as spanish goes, I am really good at talking and reading, but I would say that writing is my weakness.  I can do it, but I am so much better at expressing myself in english when I write.

21 days? really? I know its close, but there are moments when I realized how close it really is.  Honestly, I don’t feel the end.  I just feel like I will keep being a missionary forever. Elder Uchtdorf said in a recent talk "There seems to be something inside of us that resist endings." Yep, that is happening.  Actually I think my body is trying to reject the fact that I am finishing, and so I am like hungry ALL THE TIME! Its not like I just have a desire to be eating, no I am legit hungry. I was trying to lose weight, but I think in these past two weeks I gained it all back.  Its really weird, but its also happening to a few other missionaries who are leaving this next change.

I don’t have much to say about the week.  Ï mean we taught lessons, we did street contacts, we ate lunch with members that is usually drenched in oil, we rode our bikes, we had exchanges, we laughed, I even cried this week, we had hard moments, and good moments, we felt the spirit, and we preached the word.  Yep, that about sums up my week\ mission.

Some specifics: I learned how to ride my bike with no hands!  My companion ate gluten by mistake and then after she realized it and knew that she was going to get sick, she bought an empanada to make it worth it . . and yes, she did almost die. Hna Johnson and Hna Crump had a baptism this week.  A menos active that we have been working with told us that he wants to serve a mission, learn english, then go to BYU . . . yep, I was in awe and thanked my Heavenly Father for changing hearts.

There was a moment this week, when we were out in a poblacion called, Santa Filomena, and we were just knocking doors right at sun set.  The weather was perfect, their was a slight breeze, spanish echoed around me, children were playing in the streets, and I was just standing in the middle of a dirt road, looking down on the valley, and I realized "wow, I love this."  That was one of my "This is my life moments."  I’ve have them ever once in a while.  Its were you realize that you are right where you need to be, and that you love it. My companion had one this week.  We were just walking down the street and she looked over at me and said "hermana Ostler, I am a missionary." and I said "Yes, you are.  Now enjoy it, cause before you know it . . ." I never finished the sentence.  Sometimes it hurts too much to think about, and other times I am really excited.

Okay, I honestly have nothing else to say.  I love you all so much, and I am so excited to see you soon.  This Sunday, Hermana Young looked at her watch and said "Its two o'clock in Missouri, my family is just finishing up church."  And then I said "Its 12 in Washington, my family is finishing sacrament meeting."  (Well, that is if you still go to church at 11, that might have changed.) But in that moment, I remembered that you guys still exist, and that your lives still go on.  I guess that I have felt that when I left, everything back at home just froze, and when I come back it will all be just how I left it.  But life moves on . . . for everyone.  Just as God has changed the lives and hearts of the people I have met in Chile, He has also been changing you guys, and not just your lives . . but who you are.

Yeah, when I get home, I will have a sobrina (I will always call Lilly my sobrina, cause that is what I have called her here, and niece just sounds weird to me.  She is my one and only sobrina) I will have a cunada (And Katie will always be my cunada . . not sister in law) Benson might be a foot taller, moms hair might be grayer, Jefferson might have more muscles, Wilson might not have that gap between his teeth, and dad might be a little rounder, but more than the physical, I hope that I find you all different in your souls.  I hope your hearts have changed.  I hope that you have read your scriptures more, prayed more sincerely, laughed harder, and lived like the Savior lived.  I hope you have remembered your baptismal covenants, and that when I look into your eyes I will see Christ reflected there.  It's a life long process, but I hope to find all of you a little further along in the journey than when I left.  This life is for progression and for change.  I also pray and hope that you will say the same about me, that I have changed.  I think I have less hair than when I left, my skin is a little rougher, and I too might be a little heavier, but I hope that when you look into my eyes you will see the change.  You will see that the hardships and challenges have made me better, and have made me stronger.  So let us continue forward, my family, cause my eternal happiness will never be complete without you.

Con todo el amor en mi corazon,

Hna Ostler