God will give her another chance . . . . He always does

Dear familia,

I didn’t get Harrison's email from last week, please forward it! Also, I haven't finished reading your email yet, cause I printed it cause we had to go back to the pench cause we got a refri change and its a long story so I just printed to read on the way but then I didn’t have time, so I have read most of it and skimmed the rest.  Sounds like the family is doing great!  Thanks dad for the advise about DM. She isn’t Buddhist, but she is starting, little by little, to understand the concept of God.  We taught her once this week and I invited her to be baptized . .in english!  I don’t know if I did it like it says in PMG cause I never read PMG in english. She said she wants to be baptized, but she wants to wait to be baptized with her husband who is still living in china and waiting for his visa.  So we'll see how that goes.

About Cambios, once again, mom you are right.  I am staying here in vivaceta with Hermana Peralta.  I am happy to be starting a new change cause this last change was just weird and long, and I just need a new start.  I am also happy to be staying in vivaceta.  I still feel like there is much I can do here, even though it is a harder sector.  I love the people so much.

Ja* didn’t get baptized cause she started smoking again.  And she hasn’t been coming to church.  She still wants to get baptized. . . . . 

About Sy*, we still haven't been able to find her, and I think it is time to let go.  But, I know that God will give her another chance.  He always does.

The weeks always start out good, with finding new people, teaching, inviting people to be baptized and all that other missionary stuff we do, but then you get to Friday and your pday fire has burnt out, and you basically drag yourself for two more days, but then you usually get a Sunday boost when you see investigators in church and menos activos which gets your through until pday.  This last change was no different, except that we rarely had people in church.  Every Sunday night when I had to write a zero next to investigators in church and progressando, I asked myself what more I could have done.  

This week, on Friday when we passed by Ja's house and she was smoking again, we took out another cita with her, and then we walked around the corner and leaned against the wall.  The only words that came to my mind where "What more could I have done for my vineyard."  I feel like I am giving it all.  I pray for these people, I fast for them, I laugh with them, and I cry for them.  I dream about them, and I never stop thinking of what more I can do to help them, but in the end it doesn't seem to be enough.  I can’t make them go to church and progress anymore than I can make the sun go away on the scorching hot days.

I remember feeling this way in Simon Bolivar, except the difference now is that I really am giving all I have.  I remember that when I left Simon Bolivar I wondered if I had done any good there.  Well, this week, I had the opportunity to go back for interchanges.  And guess who is in Simon Bolivar right now?  HNA LIMA!  So I got to do intercambios in Simon Bolivar with Hermana Lima . .it was the best.  We were working in a different sector, but it was still so cool to go back.  And in the night we had a ward family home evening.  Mostly less active members and investigators were there, but there was a handful of members, and I was surprised at how many people remembered me.  The bishop even remembered my name and the first thing he said to me was "wow, your Spanish has improved."  But, the best part of going back was when the sister missionary who is working in my old sector told me that E* would be getting baptized on Sunday. Remember her?  Wow, who knew that seed would grow.  You really never know what good you are doing, and I was lucky enough to go back and see the fruits of some of my labor.

The mission is really just a wonderful time of growing and learning and changing.  Over the past few weeks, I have felt the overwhelming feeling that this is were I belong.  I am doing exactly what I need to be doing at this time in my life, and I love it.

On Sunday Hermana Peralta and I taught relief society, it was fun.  We did it missionary style, and took turns, and asked inspired questions, and all that stuff that we usually do.

Other random stuff.  We are teaching a young woman from Haiti, and she is awesome. Her name is D*, and one day she invited us over for lunch. . food from Haiti is super good!  Her native language is Creole, but she is also fluent in french, and she speaks Spanish very well.  I am learning french from her.  We got her a book of Mormon in french, and she is teaching me how to pronounce the words.  Actually, when I read french its not so hard to understand. I’m not sure why, maybe my brain is just so used to working in a different language and stuff.  Whats hard is pronouncing the words.

I usually think in a mix of Spanish and english.  When I am thinking about the gospel, it is always in Spanish.  For example, when I teach DM, the thoughts come to my mind in Spanish and I translate them into english.  And yes, I have had countless dreams in Spanish.

I feel super bad for Harrison and what he is passing through with his president. Being a missionary opens your eyes to things that happen in the church that come from man and not from God.  I am so happy that I will one day be judged by Jesus Christ, who is just and perfect, and not by my district leader.  Although my district leader is awesome . . jajaja.

Yep, that's all I got to say about the week.  I hope there is more news for next week.  Love you all!

Con amor, 

Hna Ostler