Monday, November 25, 2013

I might not be moving mountains, but step by step, I am climbing them

First of all, Jefferson, you are a Rock!  We should change your name to Peter or something cause you are just solid!  The Lord is preparing and UNSTOPABLE, and you are a part of it! If I could be at your basketball games this year, I would be calling you Peter for sure!

Second of all, I feel Harrison's pain.  Emotional abuse in the mission is the WORST! Especially so young in the field.  But, I know he will get through this and he will be stronger for it.  It still brings me great pain to think about my time with you know who. I have seen her a few times since, and it literally makes my stomach hurt.  But, I wouldn't change or trade my suffering, because I am a better person.  So mom, don’t try to fix this, because you can’t.  The only person that can fix this for Harrison is Jesus Christ.  You know why?  Jesus died and suffered for Harrison.  He knows this pain, and this frustration like no one else does.  Yes, it is completely wrong what the companion of Harrison is doing, but it was also completely wrong what the Romans did to Jesus.  Who is Harrison, or me not to suffer?  The Lord will make it all right someday, and Harrison is learning something that he won’t be able to learn at any other time in his life.  So pray for him, and let the Lord take care of him.

Third of all, I don’t know if you remember when I told you about Iy* but she taught us how to crochet.  Tell Wilson he is lucky he gets his classes in english!  JAJA.  Our grand success this week was when she and her inactive husband came to church!  It was branch conference, and the theme of every class was Temples.  It was so great for them.  The teacher in Principles of the gospel was talking about how one has to be baptized to enter into the temple to be sealed, and the husband leaned over to her and said "So when are you going to be baptized!"  So we will see what will happen with this family.  She is really amazing, but she is slower to understand, and she doesn’t complete with her commitments. So we will see.

Crochet Class
Also, Ca* came to church, like always, and after learning about baptisms for the dead she wants to baptize her whole family!  She was just on fire with the spirit of Elisha.  She gave us a list of family members that needed to be baptized into the true church! BUT SHE STILL DOESNT WANT TO BE BAPTIZED HERSELF!  What is up with that?  So we are going to teach her about family history on Tuesday and tell her that she can do those baptism for her family if she gets baptized first.  Maybe this will be the push she needs to get into the baptismal font.  We'll see.

But, other then that, we had a pretty hard week.  The people seem more hard hearted every day. The first contact I did this week yelled at me.  I just hate that.  I hate when the people yell at me.  Harrison will probably never suffer that in Brasil. Hna Lima says the people are just so kind there.  But, hey, I got called to the land of the amalakites, I’m just happy they aren’t trying to kill me . . . yet . . . jajaja.

I hit a couple low points this week.  Honestly, I had no desire to continue, and I started wondering if I had the faith to get me through to the end.  I remembered that quote that mom sent me a few weeks ago from Gordon B Hinkley, and I read over it in personal study. He says that faith "Enables us to do what we said we will do."  It is the power we can draw from to "press forward when we are tired, or hurt, or afraid."  Right now I am tired in mind, body, and spirit.  I have never felt this kind of exhaustion before.  My knees hurt every time I kneel down to pray, and my throat is so dry from yelling 'allo' at every door.  I am afraid, afraid that we won’t find anyone to teach, that we won’t complete with our contacts, and that I won’t become the missionary that God needs me to be.

Now, I ask myself one question: Do I have faith?  Am I willing to finish something that I said I would do?  Will I "keep going when the challenge seems overwhelming and the course unceratian"?

Do I have faith?
I don’t know how to answer that question.  Yes, I know that Jesus is the son of God and I accept Him as my Savior.  But faith goes so much further than knowledge.

Faith is that small spark that lights a fire within you, then it is the fuel to keep that fire burning.  Faith is what pushes you beyond what you can do.  Faith is the first principle of the gospels.  Without it, your testimony falls.

Faith is not measured by what you achieved in this life/mission, but rather by the diligence in which you worked.  Was Ammon more faithful than Abinadi because he baptized thousands when Abinadi died before seeing the fruits of his labor?  Faith can’t be measured in numbers, but rather by what is inside of you.

Faith is your conviction to follow Christ even when the reward is undefined.  Faith is taking the one step beyond where you thought you could.  Faith is closing you eyes, hearing the masters call, and following Him even when the path is uncertain.

"Faith is something greater than ourselves."

So I ask again, Do I have faith? 
The answer is yes.  You know how I know?  Because I am still out here, struggling down this road, and it doesn't matter if I baptize one person or thousands as long as I keep going, cause that is faith.

I might not be moving mountains, but step by step, I am climbing them.

So, even though it was a tough week, I’m going to go back out there and do it all over again, because that is all that the Lord asks.  Just keep Climbing.

I didn’t take a pic with Jose Leiva, but I hope that I see him again so that I can.  Also, YES I WANT TO GO TO MAUI!  About college . . . can you look up to see if there exists a BYU Chile, cause that would be my first pick . . . jajaja.

Okay, I love you all, and I hope you are all doing fantastic!
Con Amor, 
Hna Ostler

My first, and proably last thanksgiving eating watermelon!  Better then turkey!

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