God will give her another chance . . . . He always does

Dear familia,

I didn’t get Harrison's email from last week, please forward it! Also, I haven't finished reading your email yet, cause I printed it cause we had to go back to the pench cause we got a refri change and its a long story so I just printed to read on the way but then I didn’t have time, so I have read most of it and skimmed the rest.  Sounds like the family is doing great!  Thanks dad for the advise about DM. She isn’t Buddhist, but she is starting, little by little, to understand the concept of God.  We taught her once this week and I invited her to be baptized . .in english!  I don’t know if I did it like it says in PMG cause I never read PMG in english. She said she wants to be baptized, but she wants to wait to be baptized with her husband who is still living in china and waiting for his visa.  So we'll see how that goes.

About Cambios, once again, mom you are right.  I am staying here in vivaceta with Hermana Peralta.  I am happy to be starting a new change cause this last change was just weird and long, and I just need a new start.  I am also happy to be staying in vivaceta.  I still feel like there is much I can do here, even though it is a harder sector.  I love the people so much.

Ja* didn’t get baptized cause she started smoking again.  And she hasn’t been coming to church.  She still wants to get baptized. . . . . 

About Sy*, we still haven't been able to find her, and I think it is time to let go.  But, I know that God will give her another chance.  He always does.

The weeks always start out good, with finding new people, teaching, inviting people to be baptized and all that other missionary stuff we do, but then you get to Friday and your pday fire has burnt out, and you basically drag yourself for two more days, but then you usually get a Sunday boost when you see investigators in church and menos activos which gets your through until pday.  This last change was no different, except that we rarely had people in church.  Every Sunday night when I had to write a zero next to investigators in church and progressando, I asked myself what more I could have done.  

This week, on Friday when we passed by Ja's house and she was smoking again, we took out another cita with her, and then we walked around the corner and leaned against the wall.  The only words that came to my mind where "What more could I have done for my vineyard."  I feel like I am giving it all.  I pray for these people, I fast for them, I laugh with them, and I cry for them.  I dream about them, and I never stop thinking of what more I can do to help them, but in the end it doesn't seem to be enough.  I can’t make them go to church and progress anymore than I can make the sun go away on the scorching hot days.

I remember feeling this way in Simon Bolivar, except the difference now is that I really am giving all I have.  I remember that when I left Simon Bolivar I wondered if I had done any good there.  Well, this week, I had the opportunity to go back for interchanges.  And guess who is in Simon Bolivar right now?  HNA LIMA!  So I got to do intercambios in Simon Bolivar with Hermana Lima . .it was the best.  We were working in a different sector, but it was still so cool to go back.  And in the night we had a ward family home evening.  Mostly less active members and investigators were there, but there was a handful of members, and I was surprised at how many people remembered me.  The bishop even remembered my name and the first thing he said to me was "wow, your Spanish has improved."  But, the best part of going back was when the sister missionary who is working in my old sector told me that E* would be getting baptized on Sunday. Remember her?  Wow, who knew that seed would grow.  You really never know what good you are doing, and I was lucky enough to go back and see the fruits of some of my labor.

The mission is really just a wonderful time of growing and learning and changing.  Over the past few weeks, I have felt the overwhelming feeling that this is were I belong.  I am doing exactly what I need to be doing at this time in my life, and I love it.

On Sunday Hermana Peralta and I taught relief society, it was fun.  We did it missionary style, and took turns, and asked inspired questions, and all that stuff that we usually do.

Other random stuff.  We are teaching a young woman from Haiti, and she is awesome. Her name is D*, and one day she invited us over for lunch. . food from Haiti is super good!  Her native language is Creole, but she is also fluent in french, and she speaks Spanish very well.  I am learning french from her.  We got her a book of Mormon in french, and she is teaching me how to pronounce the words.  Actually, when I read french its not so hard to understand. I’m not sure why, maybe my brain is just so used to working in a different language and stuff.  Whats hard is pronouncing the words.

I usually think in a mix of Spanish and english.  When I am thinking about the gospel, it is always in Spanish.  For example, when I teach DM, the thoughts come to my mind in Spanish and I translate them into english.  And yes, I have had countless dreams in Spanish.

I feel super bad for Harrison and what he is passing through with his president. Being a missionary opens your eyes to things that happen in the church that come from man and not from God.  I am so happy that I will one day be judged by Jesus Christ, who is just and perfect, and not by my district leader.  Although my district leader is awesome . . jajaja.

Yep, that's all I got to say about the week.  I hope there is more news for next week.  Love you all!

Con amor, 

Hna Ostler   

I got to teach the plan of salvation in English

Dear Familia,

First of all, Jefferson is a rock star!  Like honestly, who does that?  You know like play for varsity and stuff? Second of all, my week was okay.  Hna Peralta and I worked our butts off. We found so many new investigators . .  it was insane!  We got insynch again and are now teaching really well together.  I’m not sure what will happen with the changes this week, the only thing I know is that I don’t want to leave vivaceta.  Though it is one of the more difficult sectors of my mission, I just love the people here.

The other day we contacted this man reading a book just outside his work, and I had never seen him before, but I just loved him!  I wanted so badly for him to hear the gospel, for him to change his life.  But . .  sadly, like many other cases he wouldn't open his heart to the possibility of the restoration of the gospel.  But that happens all the time.  The further I get into my mission, the more I love these people.

This week, I was also dead tired!  I’ve never been so tired in my life.  It’s like there is a war going on inside me, cause my body is screaming for me to slow down, to take a break, but my heart whispers to me to go talk to that woman sitting on the bench, to go knock one more door, because maybe behind that door is your golden family.

After completing one year in the mission, I was reading through chapter 1 of PME about what it means to be a misionero de exito.  I thought back to my first day in the mission and my first 3 changes, and how I always felt so inadequate, and like I really wasn’t completing my call of being a missionary.  A lot of times I felt like I wasn’t doing any good here in Chile.  But, after reading through that section again in PME, I realized I have come a long way.  I won’t say that I have achieved what PME illustrates as a successful missionary, but I have made progress, and the good news is that I still have six months to work on it.

Also, I thought that after 1 year in the mission I might feel different.  True, I have more experience today than I had yesterday, but, in the end, I am still waking up at 7:30 every day, studying for 3 hours, preaching in the streets, in the doorways, and in the houses, returning to the apartment at 10, planning, going to bed at 11:30, and then waking up the next day and doing it all over again.  Maybe in six months when my schedule changes I will feel different, but for now I am just going to keep doing the same thing, and as always, try to improve.

So, the whole Sy* thing is still breaking my heart.  And I think we are going to have to drop her indefinitely.  But, I guess it is better to find the people who are really going to progress. Its just hard for me to give up on someone.  Being in the mission and seeing so many miracles has planted in me the firm belief that people can and do change when they come in contact with the gospel of Jesus Christ. But, there is still hope for this change, because Ja* might get baptized this Sunday.  She has quit smoking, and now her only obstacle is not feeling ready for baptism.  She is so ready!  Like she is already planning on serving a mission in a year and getting married in the temple.  She has planned FHE with her family, signed up to receive the Liahona every month, and she feels guilt when she misses church. So we are praying that she will recognize God's answer when it comes.

Also, we visited DM, the Chinese woman, a few times this week.  We even got her a BOM in Chinese.  Wow, she is an amazing woman.  This week I had the opportunity to teach her parts of the plan of salvation in English.  I was practicing all week, cause it is so so so hard to teach in english.  Well, as we started teaching her, I quickly realized that she really has no idea who God is.  So, I changed the direction of the lesson, and I was able to testify to her that there is a God, and that He loves her and desires her happiness.  My words seemed very simple as I spoke them in English, but I felt the spirit as I said them, and it was a very special opportunity for me to testify to someone of Gods love in my native language.  I know that someday she will hear the gospel in her own tongue, because that is a prophesy of God, but for now, I am relying on the spirit to carry the message to her heart even if she doesn’t understand perfectly every word.

Question for dad: How do you teach people who don’t have a Christian background?  Like where do you start?  With Joseph Smith?

The bishops daughter who always accompanies us to lessons, got her mission call this week, and she played a nasty trick on us.  Friday afternoon she called us and said that she needed us to come to her house at 9 that night because she had news for us.  Then she said, well, actually its because my dad, the bishop needs to talk to you.  WHAT?  We were freaking out all day. Like what could the bishop possibly have to say to us?  Did we do something wrong?  But, in the end, she just wanted us to be there for when she opened her call . . . jajaja.  Funny ..  NOT!  She got called to Buenos Aries Argentina North.  Is that where Kraymer served?  If so, could you ask him what it was like, and other random info about the mission that a mother would like to know.  She will be the first missionary in the family, and her mom is very worried.

But, yay, that was basically my week.  It felt really long for some reason.  We also had a special stake conference where the area presidency spoke to us via broadcast.  Like Elder cook and Elder Corbridge.  It was sweet, but because it was in the stake center, we didn’t have anyone in church . .but there is always the next week to try again.  My theme song lately has been "The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow."  In the mission there are so many ups and downs, and sometimes when you are stuck in a day that is gray and lonely, you just have to stick out your chin and grin and say, that the sun'll come out tomorrow.

I love you all!

Thanks for all the support

Con amor,

Hna Ostler

"You're not going to come back?"

Basically, I love peanut butter!

Dear Familia,

Wow, what a week!  I would like to some how make this dramatic, the news I am about to tell you, but . . . I’m so tired that I am just going to tell you.  So, I am not with Hermana Perez anymore, I am with . . you are never going to believe this, but my new companion is . .. are you ready to know?  I think you might have heard of her before.  Okay I am just going to tell you now.  I am now the senior companion of . . Hermana Peralta!  WHAT?  

Okay, here is the story.  So we had interviews last Monday, and President talked to me a lot about Hermana Peralta, and how our relationship was, cause apparently I am the only companion she has had that she hasn't had problems with, and he wanted to know why.  I was honest with him and told him that being with Hermana Peralta wasn’t the easiest thing, but that I truly tried to love her and accept her how she was.  I remembered that she said things how they were, and some people took offense when no offense was meant.  I told president that in our house we were always taught to not take offense when none is meant, and to not look at the mote in your brothers eye when you have a beam in yours.

I understand how Hermana Peralta is, so I understand that her companions might not have gotten along with her, but a better example of a companion mistreating someone would be Hermana Hernandez, not Hermana Peralta.  So, apparently during her interview, a lot was said . . . . .  and he asked her what she wanted.  The only thing she wanted was to be my companion again.  Well, it ended up working out for president, cause on Wednesday another sister had to leave the mission for knee problems, so he had to do emergency changes anyway.

He called Hermana Perez and I Tuesday night to tell us of the changes.  Hermana Perez was sad.  So was I.  The change was just so sudden, and Hermana Perez felt like she was finally starting to learn, and she was so worried that she wouldn't be able to adjust to a new companion.  But, I explained to her that the same thing happened to me.  That I was changed after one month with my trainer, and that sometimes you just have to learn to accept the Lords will.  Hermana Perez went to Lampa!  I was a little jealous, but I told her that she would love it!  And her new trainer is awesome, and I think she will be fine.

So now I am here with Hermana Peralta!  It has been great!  I honestly feel like I am just hanging out with an old friend.  When she first got here it was a little stressful to try to teach her everything, but then one night she said, "Hermana Ostler, I’m not a new missionary, you don’t have to explain how we make goals.  I already know that."  It was kinda funny cause I realized that I was just in training mode and I had been explaining so many things to her, things she already new.

I enjoyed training, but it is hard, and since Hermana Peralta has arrived, I have felt the weight of the sector slow lifted and shared.  Its nice having a companion who knows how to do a good contact, and who knows how to help investigators progress.

This week sacamos la mugre, como dicen en chile.  We worked and worked and worked. We had a lesson with Sy*, I think I talked about her once.  I love her so much, and the only thing I want for her is to progress.  But for me, she is more than just a baptismal statistic, she is an old friend who needs salvation.  Every time I teach her, I feel so desperate.  Like she NEEDS to understand what we are teaching her so she can make it to the celestial kingdom. But this last lesson we had with her, she was pulling out all her old excuses of, "Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die  . . and if we are found guilty God will beat us with a few stripes."

When the lesson was turning into a battle, I looked at Sy* in the eyes and said that if she wasn’t willing to progress . . . But I didn’t finish the sentence, cause as I looked at her I felt such love, and I didn’t want to tell her that we were going to drop her.  But I knew that I had to because she wasn’t progressing.  Tears filled my eyes, and I opened my mouth to finish the sentence, but she caught on to what I was telling her, and she finished the sentence with a choked cry "You're not going to come back?"  Tears filled her eyes as well, and we cried together.  I have never felt such pain for someone who wasn't willing to change.  I pleaded with her to come to church, to stop smoking, but she just won't.  "What more could I have done for my vineyard?"  Maybe God let me feel the pain that He feels when one of His children chooses not to follow Him, because it was literally tearing me up.

Well, we didn't end up dropping her, cause she promised to come to church, and that she would start trying to dejar a fumar.  I think she needed that scare, to help her understand the situation.  Unfortunately, though we passed by for her on Sunday, she didn’t answer the door or her phone.  Now I don’t know what to do for her, and sometimes it kills me that I just can’t take away her agency for 3 hours and make her come to church.  

This week we found and taught a women from China named DM.  She is so sweet, and speaks better English than Spanish.  She says that she wants to chose a Christian church to bring her daughter to, but that in China there are very few Christian churches, and here there are so many, so she is confused about which one to join.  Sound familiar?  So we taught her pieces of the first lesson and gave her a book of Mormon.  I mostly taught her in English so that she could understand . . but man it was hard!  It is so much easier to speak Spanish. Now we have been practicing lesson two in English to teach it to her tomorrow, but I think it is harder for me than for Hermana Peralta . . jajaja.

We also helped a woman peel garlic . . . like not just one clove of garlic, but like 7 pounds of garlic!  My hands still smell! but it was fun, something different, and we also taught the first lesson while peeling garlic.

For the past two weeks we haven’t had anyone in church, and it has been worrying me. This week we were counting on three people, si o si, that were going to come.  But when we called them Sunday morning they didn’t answer.  I called every investigator I could think of . .but nothing! We had been fasting to have at least one person in church, but sadly, for the third Sunday in a row, we enter the chapel alone.  I decided to accept the situation as it was, and just try harder the next week.

The opening song was "All is Well."  And the congregation sang it, I felt such a warm peace, that even though we didn’t have anyone in church, all was well.  Just before we finished the last chorus, guess who entered the chapel?  Ja* and her palolo.  They were supposed to be at the beach for vacations?  What were they doing in church?  I decided not to ask questions, but to say a prayer and thank the Lord for answering our fast.

So those are the highlights of my week.  I pray for all of you frequently, and hope you all are well.  Remember to keep the commandments, even if they are hard or if you don’t understand them.  Obedience is the only way to have happiness in this life.  

Con Amor,

Hna Ostler

Ps, if you send a package, which you don’t have to, could you include a mini hymn book in english!  Thanks

Don't let those straws break your backs

Dear Familia,

Wow, sometimes after reading the family email, I just sit back for a moment in awe at how amazing our family is.

Okay, so as for my week.  It was a little difficult emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually.  Training Hermana Perez is very different from training Hermana Morley.  I have tried to love her and be patient with her as she is going through the learning processes and adjusting process that all new missionaries go through.  Though, over the weeks my stress load has been building up, and causing me to swing between moments of frustration and desperation to tolerance and patience.

This past week, there was little unity between Hermana Perez and I, and I know that a lot of it was my fault.  Because I was frustrated and let it show, Hermana Perez was left to guess why I was frustrated.  The tremendous weight of the well being of my sector was starting to feel heavy on my back this week.  For example, a few things I have to worry about: making all the phone calls, saving lessons that start to move in the wrong direction, getting enough contacts in every day, leading companionship planning every night, helping investigators to church and progressing, inviting new investigators to be baptized, pulling through with our numbers, and then explaining it ALL to Hermana Perez.

So there is an example of the weight on my back.  Not very big things, but bunched together it makes a heavy load.  And I tried so so so so hard to keep a good attitude and a smile through the hot long days of knocking doors to empty houses.  But, on Wednesday night when we finally got up to the apartment, I was frustrated, and all I wanted to do was plan quickly and then go to bed.  I didn't even want to talk to Hermana Perez and have to answer all her question.

As we sat down to plan, I realized that I didn't have my agenda.  The straw landed on my back and I had to decided if I was going to let it break me, or if I would stand tall and resist. But, I guess I was tired of resisting and I let that straw break me.  I transformed into the old me that let all the little stuff push me over, and I had a mini freak out session.  Not like yelling, crying or screaming, but all my emotions boiling over.  The interesting thing was that while I was stressing and letting out the bad fruit, it felt unnatural.  A reaction that used to be common for me, turned into something I almost had to force.

Well, we planned quickly, despite my mood, and after planning I realized that I was wrong. So I apologized for my reaction to the situation, but I knew I couldn't change the past. Well, my simple apology turning into a companionship inventory that lasted awhile. There had been a lack of communication in the companionship, just as much my fault as hers, but in the end, she just needed to talk.  So she did.  She talked a lot about her family, her past, her weaknesses, and how she had been feeling since arriving to the mission.  It was a talk that she needed to have, and I mostly just listened.

When we finally went to bed, I was still worried about my agenda.  A missionary without an agenda is like singer without a voice.  It just can’t function right.  The next day, Hermana Perez was much better, and we were able to be more open with each other.  I called Ja* like 8 times to see if I left my agenda at her house, but she was working.  Also I distinctly remember having it in my hand.  When we left the house that day to work, I had a prayer in my heart that somehow I would find my agenda.  Maybe in the street if it had fallen, or at Ja's house.  Well, as we left the apartment building, the man at the front desk called me back.  Guess what he had found just inside the front gate of the apartment building?  Yep, my agenda.

There is a lesson in all this . . well, a few actually.  One is that God is in control of everything, and sometimes He uses small and simple things, like a lost agenda, to bring about great things, like more companionship unity.  And the second lesson would be .  . DON'T FREAK OUT ABOUT A LOST AGENDA, FOR CRYING IN A BUCKET!  Don’t let those small straws break you.  Some might say "It’s not my fault if my back can’t hold anymore."  Well, actually it is, because if you let your back break, then that means you forgot to pull from the ultimate source of strength: our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  Don’t forget that you are not holding that load alone.

So I hope that I have learned that when the agenda is lost, when the appointments fall through, when the homework load builds up, when the food burns, when the kids are crying, and when the straws build up, adding more and more weight to my load, that I don’t have to break, because the Lord is right there with me, holding my load too.

Okay, mas sobre esa semana . . hmm.  We didn’t have anyone in church again.  Sad.  But fast and testimony meeting was great!  A lot of the members bore their testimonies, and the common theme was that trails only make you stronger.  It was just what I needed.  Not only to have the common message reinforces, but to see that all these people I have come to love so much are also passing through hard times, and not just me.

The noche de hoger went well.  Fa* couldn’t come, but Ja's boyfriend was there.  He comes to church and loves it, but we have never actually taught him.  So we taught about the book of Mormon and gave him one.  He was very grateful and he asked me to mark something that he could always read when he is feeling down.  I marked 2 nefi 4 verse 15 to the end. He read it right there and loved it!  He said that the words really carried to his heart.  We also took Ja* to the temple this week!  That was fun!  But taking the subway and the bus at rush hour was entertaining.  We squished ourselves in there like tuna in a can.

Also, we are teaching this women of 64 years names Sy*.  Wow, I have come to love that woman so so so much!  She smokes and doesn't want to quit.  She wants to live with God again, but she doesn't want to change religions or keep all the commandments.  She says that she is keeping the 10 commandments so that is good enough.  Yesterday we had a pretty intense lesson with her, where she cried and I was close to crying.  I read her the first commandment and told her that she wasn't keeping it because she was putting her cigarettes before God.  She couldn't disagree.  I also told her that she wasn’t keeping the sixth commandment cause she was killing herself with her cigarettes. Once again, she couldn’t disagree.

As we were teaching her, I felt the Saviors love for her so strongly, and the only thing I wanted for her was to one day see her in the celestial kingdom.  Even now, my eyes fill with tears at the thought.  She is the only one left of all her brothers and sisters and parents, even her husband has died.  When she said that, I was filled with hope, cause I know we have an army on the other side that are working with us.  I feel it every time I enter that house.  They want to be saved too, and she is their link.  She has just got to get over her pride and change her life!  She can do it, I know she can.

Yesterday we had interviews with president, which is why our pday is today.  My interview went well.  President always tells me that I should be a writer. . . well, if I knew how to spell that might work out for me.  He also said that I am a person of many talents and that I have done great work in my mission.  I know mission presidents have to say that kinda stuff, but if still made me feel good.

Oh, I finished reading all the conference talks.  I mostly read them in Spanish, but I always repassed through my favorites in english.  Yay conference! Only three more months until the next session!  YAY!  Oh, and I got my release date.  Ready?  I know I’m not.  But I will end my mission on the 11 of August.

I'm happy everyone is doing well.  I pray for you all and I am so grateful for your support. Keep your heads up and remember to not let those straws break your backs.

Con Amor, 

Hna Ostler

"Come in."

Familia,

I knew it!!  I knew it was a girl!!  Yeah Lilly!  Finally the name gets used and there is not a more perfect recipient than my first niece!  Congrats to Amanda for having the first grandchild!  I love the onsie!  Wow, all week I was thinking about Amanda, and I am so so so so so excited to be an aunt!  Yay!  Kinda a bummer that I have to wait like 6 months to meet my first niece . . . but . . . cosas pasa.

So, as for my week.  My number one goal was to be patient with my companion.  I am so blessed to have lived in Mexico for a short time so that I can understand her better.

My patients for her only broke once, yesterday night when I was so tired, and had a sun headache and my feet were hurting, and she was telling me how I needed to go to the doctor because I have a couple of blisters.  So I took my deep breaths and tried to explain to her that blisters happen, and that I wasn’t going to die.  But, all in all, things with the companion were better this week, mostly because I decided to be more patient.  She is progressing, learning how to teach more effectively and to not scare our investigators away on the first visit by inviting them to be married in the temple.  She is slowly getting used to the mission, but I know it is hard.  We all go through it.  But, I tried to remember the patience that she has with me and all my short comings, all my quirks, and especially my Spanish.  Hna Perez speaks very differently from the people here and all my other companions.  She uses different frases and words that I don’t understand. So I might still be explaining to her what a referral is every night, but she is repeating what she says in different ways until I understand her.  I am learning a lot from her and the Lord is blessing us so much in this sector.

So, basically our sector is just full of a bunch of old people, and last change with Hermana Morley we had an extremely difficult time finding people to teach.  At the start of this change, I prayed so hard that we could find the people who are being prepared.  I prayed for the faith necessary to find them, and the patience to knock door after door, and be reject time after time.  Last Sunday I specifically fasted for our sector, and that we would be lead to those who are waiting to hear the message of the restored gospel.  This week as we worked in our sector, I felt as if we were knocking the doors for the first time, even though I have basically knocked every door in our sector at least once.  I don’t know what changed, but doors were opening to us, and we were finding investigators left and right.  This week, in our sector that could pass as a nursing home, we found three young families!!  WHAT!!  I don’t think I have taught more than 2 complete families in all of my mission, and in one week we taught three!  I know God answers prayers, and sometimes we just have to be humble enough to ask for Him to lead us to the doors instead of thinking that we can find them on our own. This is His work, and knocking doors without His guidance is just a waste of time.

This week, after doubling our teaching pool, I have been pondering what drives people to invite two complete strangers into their house.  Here you are, a mother of two young boys, with a mountain of dishes to wash, floors to scrub, dinner to make, shirts to iron, and toys to organize when a knock sounds on the door. You answer it, and what do you find? Two young girls, not from your country, and not much older than yourself, asking to enter into your home, to take a glimpse into your life and share a message about God.  Sometimes I think that I am just as surprised as they are when the words slip from their lips "come in."

Why?  Why do they invite us in?  Put aside the fact that they have a million other things to do, babies crying, bills to pay, a houses to clean, THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW US?  When was the last time you let a stranger into your house?

This week, as I have pondered on all these things, I have started to see the situation a little differently.

Here you are, a mother of two young boys, with a mountain of things to do as always.  But, how about we look past the to do list of a young mother for a few seconds.  Here is a woman who is trying to raise her boys to one day be respectable young men. Here is a woman who is scared that the morals of the world will enter into her home.  Here is a woman who wakes up every morning worried that she is going to fail her family.  Here is a woman who needs help, and when two young women knock on her door, she doesn’t see two strangers with a message that is just going to eat her time up.  No, what she really sees is help.  She sees Jesus Christ, and that is why she says "Come in."

When you put the plack on, you are no longer a stranger to anyone.  Instead you are representing the person that everyone is waiting to knock on their door.

So, our investigators are progressing slowly.  We invited Wa* to be baptized!  WHAT!!  That wasn’t planned, it just happened.  He didn’t say yes, but he didn’t say no.  He told us that he wants to learn more, and he wants to know that this is the path for him.  Also, he is reading the book of mormon and praying, so I know that he will come to find his answer.

We also invited another one of our investigators to be baptized.  She is older and she has smoked since she was a teenager.  So we taught her the word of wisdom, and the spirit during the lesson was so strong as we invited her to leave behind her cigarettes and follow Christ.

Also, some bad news is that Ja*, our other investigator who has 22 years and has been to church like 6 times started smoking again after 2 months of quitting.  NOOO!  But she said that she is going to try again. We are going to buy her tictac and almonds today, and I am going to make her banana bread, cause she loves it!  We are also taking her to the temple on friday!

About a month ago, Hermana Morley and I found this 18 year old girl who said that her belief in God is a 4 on a scale of 1 to 7. We went by this week to visit her and found out that her mom suddenly died.  Her mom had been sick for a few months, but our investigator was sure that she would get better.  As we taught her lesson 2, the plan of salvation, I could see the pain in her eyes.  But I realized that her pain doesn't spring from the loss of her mother, but from the thought that she will never see her mom again.  That hurts her more than the actual loss.  I didn’t know what to do for her, but I felt the impression to invite her to a FHE we are going to have with Ja* on Wednesday.  Surprisingly she accepted.  So, hopefully Ja* can help her, cause she also lost her dad.

This week, it was my goal that Hermana Perez and I could laugh more.  Hermana Perez is very serious, so I tired to find every opportunity to laugh.  Especially when it was hot, when we were tired, and when we had no one to teach.

Something I have learned in the mission is to always have an eternal perspective.  Why get upset or angry when a door slams in your face?  Cause then you will be all frustrated when you knock the next door, and no one is going to invite a frustrated person into their house.  Yea, its really hot right now, but in a few hours the sun is going to set.  Misery only lasts if you invite it to stay.  In the mission, our situations change from moment to moment, hour to hour, door to door, so if you are relying on the circumstances to make you happy then you are strapping yourself onto the roller coaster of emotion . . . NO FUN!!  BEEN THERE DONE THAT  . . . NO THANKS!  Discouragement comes, it always does, whether you invite it or not, but it is our choice if we let it set up camp, or send it packing.

The things you learn on a mission are priceless, and a few times this week, I stopped to think back on the person I was only a few months ago, and I am in awe at what the Savior is shaping me into.

Well, that's all I got for this week.  I love you all and you are always in my prayers!

Con amor,

Hna Ostler

I love wearing His name above my heart

Dear Familia,

I love the double email thing.  Its a little longer, but I can know a little of whats going on with Harrison!  Wow, he's a DL?  CAPO!  BACAN!  Just go baptize some good priesthood out there in the jungle . . I’ll stay here in my apartment on the 20th floor and drink smoothies made from my blender every morning . . jajaja.

Okay, so my new comp arrived on Tuesday.  Her name is Hermana P and she is from Mexico.  Apparently there wasn’t a sister from Chile.  I'm not going to lie, this week has been hard as Hermana P is adjusting to the mission life.  We got back to the apartment Tuesday afternoon, and I know she probably wanted to unpack, or get settled, but we left five minutes later to work!  Maybe I’m a bad companion for doing that, but that's what missionary work is . .Its WORK! After every contact we do she is already planning the baptism.  But, my patience has been tried as I have had to explain every aspect of missionary work.  It doesn’t annoy me, I mean, I’m her trainer for crying in a bucket . . that's what I am supposed to do. I have to tell her not to talk about deep doctrine after EVERY lesson we teach.  The people have never heard about the priesthood, so you can’t go in and start talking about preparing them to enter the temple so they can be sealed.  For crying in a bucket, WE JUST MET THEM!  How about we teach them about the priesthood that is on the earth, then invite them to be baptized by someone who has that priesthood. There is an order to these things.  So my work is cut out for me.

I feel like Hermana Morley came pre trained, and we just lived it up!  We had so much fun last change, and yet worked our butts off at the same time.  But this changed I am training. For some reason, God sent me Hermana P.  Maybe I can learn something from her.

She had her first breakdown on Wednesday. I love her.  Honestly, I feel an unexplainable love for her as my companion.  I am just going to try to teach her what I know, help her learn, and hopefully learn from her experiences.  I just hope she doesn't confuse all our investigators.

That's so crazy about Kraymer not being able to speak English.  I still feel like I can speak English well.  But of course I have been in Chile for less than a year, and he was there for 2 years.  But, this week my Spanish was suffering. I don’t know why.  I felt like I couldn't speak, or understand, but maybe that's because Hermana P speaks SO DIFFERENTLY than los chilanos, and because I was so mentally tired from explaining everything x number of times.

Mom, I love your study on enduring.  The principle of Endurance is one I have become very familiar with throughout my mission.  Being with Hermana P has reminded me a lot of the beginning of my mission and the tree I planted so long ago.  You have been reminding me of that tree, and that I should go back and look at it, but I haven't seen much change in the size, stature, or strength.

Now, Hermana P recently planted her tree, and I am teaching her how to grow it, and how to care for it.  I am telling her what I have done to grow my tree, or in other words, to develop myself, and in the process I have gone back to my tree to look at it, to see if there really has been any growth, and OH MY WOW!  That thing just shot up and I don’t know when.  I know that there is still much I can do as I continue to develop myself, grow, and change to become more like my Savior Jesus Christ, but I cannot deny the progress and growth that has taken place over these past 11 months.  I am far from my potential, but I am headed in the right direction.

Oh, guess what W* told us?  Remember W* the Agnostic?  Well, last week actually, he told us that he actually believes in God . . WHAT?  That's cool.  So we are seeing progress with him.  Slow, but it is there.  He is just so awesome, and he is really starting to open up to us. I pray that he will be baptized someday.

So, I miss Hermana Morley a lot.  So does the ward.  We were meant to be sisters.  I am grateful for the change we had together, but it went by way to fast.  I think I learned more from her than she did from me.

Ma* y A* got confirmed on Sunday!  It was so great!  We also had three investigators in church, which was a miracle!  This week was a little difficult, just with being in charge of everything and not really having a companion to help, but I have felt very close to the Lord and I have felt Him guide me through this week.  I made mistakes, but that's okay, because I am trying to be better, I am trying to learn.  I have a great desire to become more like my Savior every day.  Can I have a missionary moment?  Okay, I’m taking one.

I love this work so much.  I cannot describe to you how difficult and tiring it has been, but I love it.  I love being the hands of the Savior here in Santiago, and wearing His name above my heart.  I always say that I only have 18 months for that name to sink through the tag into my heart, and I feel Him there more every day.  I know he lives, and I know He loves each of us.  I walk the streets and testify of Him every day.  I tell lonely people that they really aren't alone.  I tell broken people that they can be healed, and I tell suffering people that He has suffered for them so that they don’t have to.  I love doing this, and even though it is hard, and there are many times when I wonder if my blistered feet can carry me to the next door, I know, that at the end of it, I, like Kraymer, won’t want it to end.

Thank you for all your support, packages, and love.  I love you all and I pray for you every day!

Con amor, 

Hna Ostler

I felt the heavy weight of Vivaceta on my shoulders in a literal sense

Familia!

Okay, and I am back with the news of cambios!  Aren’t you just dying to know what happened?  Well, I’m sure the boys couldn't care, but mom, I know you are just on your toes waiting! So.... whats gonna happen... I think I will hide it somewhere in my email... so keep reading!

So, the semana was good!  About our 5 in church last week, well ..  two of them got baptized!  Ma* & her son!  We did exactly what dad said we should.  We brought a sister to ALL our lessons this week and it really helped her feel comfortable and progress.  Instead of shrinking at the topic of baptism, she began to rejoice at the thought.  We saw a huge change in her over the week.  And her son is just awesome like always.

The member that helped us

So, Friday was their interview, and we had an inter transfer, which ended up being really complicated cause our sister leader didn’t tell us about it until the night before, and we already had plans to go to the registro civil in the morning to renew my visa, plus we had a ward activity to plan that would be taking place the next day, and the interview.  Bad day to be separated from your companion.  But we worked it out, and our sister leader ended up coming to our sector to work with us. So we were a three sum that day.  It was great having her here though, she really helped some of our investigators that just haven't been progressing.

Okay, about the interview.  So, Ma* is incredibly shy and has trouble with memory.  We have taught her the charlas I don't know how many times, but she still forgets a few things. She has a great heart, and the desire to be baptized, she just can’t remember the name of the current day prophet!  So while we were walking to the house with our district leader, I was explaining the situation, how she is shy and her son has Aspergers.  During the interviews I was praying that everything would go well.  Ma* went first, and came back just happy happy happy!  Yay, she passed.  Few!  Now its A*'s turn.  Piece of cake he knows the charlas mejor que yo! Well, after about 15 minutes, my district leader called me back into the room to talk with him and A*. . . . . .

So I was a little heart broken, cause the elder said we had to change the date. . duh!  But with the changes coming up, I didn't know if Hermana Morley and I would be together for the baptism and we just worked so hard with this family it would have been devastating.  So we come back into the room, and Hermana Morley had over heard.  She looked close to tears.  This would have been her first baptism.  It was a little awkward as the Elder waited for me to say something.  I started explaining.  That throws a twist on things.

So all of the 5 missionaries that were there started discussing the situation and what was to be done.  Our district leader decided to leave that up to president.  One short call from president later, and we had the okay to baptize them!  YAY!!!!  BEST MOMENT EVER!

The baptismal service as beautiful.  Hermana Morley sang, I cried when he was baptized, and the ward was so happy!  They are precious to God.  It was a great way to end the change.

On Saturday Hermana Morley and I put on a ward activity we had been planning the whole change. A competencia de postres!  Basically you bring a dessert, and present it, then the judges go into a room with all the desserts while the rest of us fill our plates and check off on our sugar supply for the year!  Well, on Saturday I was so nervous that no one would show up with a dessert.  The ward is small and there were a lot of people gone.  We called all the sisters who had signed up to bring something, but we only could confirm three desserts.  So, I spent the afternoon making Jackie's Black bottom cup cakes, while trying to plan a baptism, and a back up activity.  I remember there was a point when I was filling out the baptism registro, and I smelt my cupcakes burning.  So I drop my pen, run into the kitchen and take them out.  Then as I filled the pan for a new batch, I spilled batter all over, while at the same time Hermana Morley was asking me what games we could play if the activity fell through. As the cupcake batter streamed down my arms,and tears gathered in my eyes, I felt the heavy weight of Vivaceta on my shoulders in a literal sense.  I was drowning in my own cupcake batter and we had just run out of paper towels.  How could I come back up?

I said a prayer.

The weight wasn’t instantly taken from me, but over the course of ten minutes, Jesus Christ lightened my load, and I was able to come back up and breath.

But the Milagros don’t stop there.  The activity ended up being a success.  We started an hour late (chilean time combined with mormon time).  But we had about 10 sisters bring postres, and we ate them all!  The 40 or so people who came.  Everyone who was there enjoyed it.  It was one of the best ward activities I have ever been to.

The little things that matter to us, matter to the Lord.  He is so willing to take our load, and sometimes all we have to do is ask.

So, the change ended well, the only sad part is the Hermana Morley is leaving!  Yep, I am staying in Vivaceta, which I am happy about, but I am so sad to say goodbye to Hermana Morley.  We enjoyed every second of the change, the good and the bad, the bitter and the sweet.

So what is going to happen to me?  Who is coming to Vivaceta?  Well, mom, I don't know how . . but you nailed it!  I will be training again, a sister who I will meet tomorrow and she will be a native cause there are only three sisters arriving to the mission: one from chile, one from brazil, and one from peru.  If I had a choose, I'd choose chile!  It’s about time I had a chilean companion!  I’m super excited to speak Spanish all the time again!  But, of course I am also nervous.  But hey, I am never alone, I know that I won’t be training alone, cause the Lord is always with me.

Saying goodbye to Hermana Morley was sad.  We went to see Ma* & her son in the night, and it turned into a crying party.  I was crying, Hermana Morley was crying, Ma* was crying.  She wouldn't let go of Hermana Morleys hand.  It was sad.  But, changes are necessary.  We change and grow as we interact with new people.

I really wasn’t expecting this change, but I am excited for it.  Wish me luck ..  but more importantly . . .pray for me!

I love you all, and I hope life in Richland is treating you well!

Hna Ostler

Ps. I miss you too mom!