One flower at a time

Dear family, 

I would like to start my email with a story, or I guess it is an experience.  The following account happened on Tuesday.

We left the house that day at 12 and started passing by our citas, and they all fell through!  So we went to our plan Bs . . . no ONE WAS HOME! Our last ditch effort was knocking doors, and contacting in the street, but no one wanted to listen.  We had completed 2 hours of plans in less than an hour.  We were sidanimoed, tired, and ready to give up.  We took our 20 minute break, hoping to gain animo by pleasing our physical bodies through food and a moment off our feet.  I sat on that bench in Alcerreca, watching the dogs pass by and thinking it would be so much easier to be one of them, without a real care in the world.

The ever faithful Hermana Leyva took out her scriptures and began reading.  After 20 minutes of silence passed, I turned to her and asked, "well, did you find the solution? How we should find people to teach?" She said, "Yes, we need to pray." Doubt crept into my heart as I thought a simple prayer was not going to solve our problems.  Here is the scripture she read:

"And it came to pass that they turned upon the lamanites and they cried with one voice unto the Lord their God, for their liberty, and their freedom from bondage.

"And they began to stand against the Lamanites with power; and in that selfsame hour that they cried unto the Lord for their freedom, the Lamanites began to flee before them; and they fled even to the waters of Sideon."

Hermana Leyva said that the very moment that the Nephites prayed, the Lamanites began to retreat.  She than asked me if I would offer a prayer.  I really didn't want to, and I was low on faith that the Lord would immediately bless us like He did the Nephites.  But as I prayed I was overcome with a feeling of love, and a true desire to do the work.  I knew that the Lord was perfectly aware of my situation, and I realized that He had just been waiting for me to humble myself and turn to Him for guidance.  I felt my faith grow.

Immediately following the prayer we contacted 3 people who were all old investigators who were all willing to listen.  That day we taught a total of 6 lessons.  I needed to say that prayer so that the Lord could remind me that He truly is there, and I just need to have a little more trust, a little more faith.  I think in life, we often have to relearn the same thing over and over again until it finally sticks, like Spanish.  I don't know how many times Hermana Leyva has told me how to say "I'm confused," and I can just never remember it.  The phrase is in my mind, sometimes its just hard to find.  But the Lord is ever patient, and ever willing to reteach, and reteach until we finally get it right.  Until it finally sticks.

This week was anything but easy.  But I learned so so so much.  I was thinking a lot about what it means to be happy.  I always hear all the apostles say, "forget not to be happy now," or "find joy in the journey," or "one of the peoples biggest regrets in life is that they didn't let themselves be happy."  I've thought about how I can be more happy, but I think I was pushing myself to be happy all the time, and when I failed to do so, I got frustrated.  I have realized that when the apostles tell us to be happy they do no mean that we should be happy every moment of everyday, but that we should find moments everyday to be happy.  As we do this we will learn how to be happy instead of pushing ourselves to be happy.

Sometimes you have to let yourself feel pain and sorrow so that when the joy comes into your life it will be sweeter.  But you cant let yourself stay in the pain and sorrow, because it is easy to do so.  There will always be bad days, hard weeks, and trails, but if you fail to smile, and to laugh, then you will forget how.  It is impossible to be happy all the time, but it is not impossible to find time to be happy.  I think that finding joy in the journey means that you pass through the hard times with a hope that you will be happy again.

I also learned a lot about humility this week, and that I really am NOTHING!  I figured out why I have been constantly in and out, up and down,  Why I could laugh in one moment, and the next be bubbling over with frustration.  Why my happy moments never seemed to pull me completely out of the gloom.  And here's the reason: I was trying to prove to the Lord, to you guys, and to myself that I could do this-  That I had all the answers in my bag of metaphors.  But what I failed to truly realize is that I AM NOTHING:  I thought that I was developing Christ like attributes, but really all I was doing was looking inside myself for answers that weren't there, and solutions that couldn't be found.  I was just an empty flower pot trying to grow a garden.  But without a gardener, a flower pot is just a pretty decoration with no purpose.  The Lord is the gardener, and He is the one who fills us.  He puts the dirt, than the seed.  He adds the nutrients, and He waters us with His word.  But all we are is the pot.  We just hold what he gives us .  Everything, absolutely everything we have comes form Him.  I can't develop patience or humility on my own, just as a flower pot can't grow a flower.  But once we realize our own nothingness and let the lord fill us, He can grow a garden in our flowerpot, one flower at a time.

So it was a week of learning.  All the concepts I knew before my mission.  But I guess humility was more like a necklace that I put on every morning.  It wasn't really a part of me.  But, now, I am learning how to make the Christ like attribute a part of me.  Like my fingers.  Something that is me. I was talking to Hermana Leyva about all the things I had learned, and how I finally felt like I understood that I really am nothing, she said she felt the same way.  That it took six weeks of painting picture of flowers on the outside of our flower pot to realize that we weren't growing anything, we were just pretending to.  En verdad, all we are is an empty flower pot, and we have to let the lord fill us, so he can grow the attributes, and talents He needs us to have.  We talked about how it was a bummer we finally learned all this stuff THE DAY BEFORE CAMBIOS!

So, I am sure you are dying to hear about the cambios, and if I'm going or staying.  Well, here's a hint, after this email we are going back to the apartment to pack . . . . . but, because we are changing apartments . . . NOT SECTORS!!!  YES, Hermana LEYVA and I are staying together here for 6 MORE WEEKS!!  When we heard the news we were just so so so so so so happy!! 

This is a sweet lady that we visit. She is 96!!!

Okay, now to respond to your email.  YEAH HARRISON!!  You are templed!!  Isn't it amazing!!  Go to the temple as much as you can before you leave, cause you will miss it so so so much!  Also, Happy Faths day . . . pops!!  Love you!!  I glad Wilson took good care of you on your special day.  Also, Harrison still needs to accept L* on facebook!!  This is urgent!!  And go ahead and accept all those people for me . . . thanks!!  The shoes fall on me a bit big . . . but so much better than the last ones. Also, I cant believe that Matthew is home!  HAha, there is an elder in our zone that is practically his twin!!

So, A few updates from Simon Bolivar.  

1. R* is great!!  Also she makes the best bread in the whole world!  Man, I love her!

2. P* still wants to get baptized, but she is working out some problems with her marriage . . . pray for her!!

3. J* finally ACCEPTED A BAUTISMAL FETCHA!  She knows the church is true, but she doesn't think baptism is essential.  Also, I think she is looking for an angel to come down and tell her she needs to be baptized.  She has a fear that if she gets baptized she might regret it one day, and so she doesn't want to.  But she accepted a tentative date.  She said "I'm not promising anything, but if I fell like getting baptised on the 30th, than I will"  Except she said it in Spanish.

4. Hermana M* has seen the blessings of tithing.  She told us that one day she bought food for four, to feed her family.  But they had four unexpected guests, and she said that she fed everyone until they were full!!  God multiplied the bread and the fishes for her!

5.  We passed by O's, and he was SO happy to see us!!  We are going to start teaching him again and we are so happy!  We also passed by two other investigators that we had dropped at the beginning of the transfer that now have a lot of potential to get baptized!!

Hermana Leyva and I have lots of goals for this transfer.  We are going to baptize!!  Because we finally get it . . . WE ARE NOTHING!  Just the flower pot.

Basically I love you all so so so so much!  And I hope you have an amazing week full of just good stuff!  Remember to let the Lord fill you with whatever he wants to grow, and stop painting pictures on the outside of your flower pot, cause it will never compare to the real thing.

Con Amor, 

Hermana Ostler

Ps.  Jackie Creer, I am so happy for you that Brennen is coming home!

This is Hermana A* that is inactive, but has come to church the past two weeks in a row!!
She now has the goal to go to the temple and be sealed with her husband who died.
The other sister is her daughter and the kids are her grandkids.

"Stress is a lack of trust that God will help you"

Familia!

Sup?  So, to answer your questions . . . actually I will just answer them in the course of the email.

But, the first item of business is that you need to get into my facebook and accept L* as my friend!!  Everyday we go over to her house she says "Hermana, su familia todavia no me aceptaron en facebook!"  And, Harrison also needs to enter his facebook and accept her as a friend and then send her a message because she is set on marrying him!  jajaja, its really a funny situation.  Note: She doesn't speak English, so brush up your Spanish skills, Harrison.

So this week was just weird.  Yes, we were super busy, but with weird stuff.  It all started on Monday night.  We finished up our study, and had our backpacks on getting ready to leave for the night to work when a knock sounds on the door.  Odd.  I looked through the peep hole, and saw a white shirt and black name tag.  Hmmm . . . what is an Elder doing at our apartment?

Well, I opened the door and it was Elder Waldren and Elder Chase, two of the couple missionaries assigned to work in housing.  They had with them bed frames and mattresses.  I was super confused.  But they started asking us how many beds we needed and if we had enough blankets for the new sisters.  New sisters?  We told them we had no idea what they were talking about.  Well, apparently 5 new sisters had arrived in the mission and there was some emergency changes happening and two sisters were coming to live in our apartment for the rest of the change.  So, we spent the rest of the night reorganizing our apartment to accommodated for the two new sisters.  They arrived Tuesday morning, two sisters from our district, and it was been weird having them in our apartment.  But, the emergency changes just reminded Hermana Leyva and I that nothing is secure in the mission, and that real changes are just around the corner.

So that was the first weird thing.  The second is that on Tuesday we had to go to the East mission to go to a clinic, because Hermana Leyva had a doctors appointment for her knees. Well, we took a bus, and we basically passed through most of Santiago.  Wow, Santiago is huge!!!  It took about an hour to get there, and the clinic is like straight out of the USA.  It was super weird to be out of our sector and in the "real world".  The East mission is super different than here.  The people are richer and are all on their IPhone, in their nice cars, with there brand name clothes. While we waited to be seen by the doctor, Hermana Leyva and I talked about how we forgot what if felt like to have a real life, and to actually worry about yourself instead of who you are going to visit, or how you are going to get your investigator to read the book of Mormon.  It was like, for a few hours we stepped out of the mission and saw how much our focus had changed.

After the appointment, we had to eat, obviously, so we walked around looking for a place to eat.  Guess what we found?  AppleBees!!

We couldn't resist, so we got AppleBees to go, then got back on the bus and back to our sheltered, focused life.  Back to where we knew what to do, where to go.  Back where we had a purpose.  If I am this accustomed to the mission in only 4 months, I am going to be a freak show when I get home.  Sorry, I apologize in advance.

The bus ride home took extra long because of the traffic, and when we finally got home it was too late to drop our stuff off at the apartment then go back to our sector to work, so we took our AppleBees into our room and ate delicious American food on our beds as we talked about boys . . . jajaja.

Also, on the bus ride home, Hermana Leyva almost convinced me to finish my mission a transfer early with her and go to BYU Provo.  We made a plan to ask president to put us back together for our last transfer on one of the islands, then we will leave the mission together and first go to Peru, then I would go back to USA, find an apartment at BYU where she will join me after a month and the national language of our apartment would be Spanish. Also, we will catch up on all the Spanish soap operas that we see bits and pieces of, and watch Thor once a month . . . at least. Good plan, but I don't know if I can give up BYU Hawaii, but she hasn't given up trying to convince me.

Oh, and on Wednesday I got PackageSSSS . . . like four!!  We could barely bring them all back to the apartment.  The shoes are great!  They help so so much!  Plus, all the baking stuff just made me so so happy .  . like brown sugar and baking soda!  Yeah!  Also I got the pills and all the face stuff.  Plus a package from Grammie filled with goodies!!  Thanks so much!  Basically, you are the best family ever!!

So, the week was difficult for the work, we didn't teach that much, and all the people we found last week were not to be found again.  M** didn't come to church, neither P** or her son.  He really doesn't have a testimony and we just can't convince him that this is true.  He has got to want it.  P** still wants to get baptized, but her wedding is going to take time.  So its just disappointing that she won't get baptized with Hermana Leyva and I.

I thought a lot this week about being happy, and why it seems that I have one amazing week, and then the next week is mas o menos.  How can one have an ongoing happiness even when things are hard?  How can you fill your life with joy even when you have so many things to do, so many things to worry about?  I started thinking about the happiest people in the world, and they aren't the people that have no responsibilities.  They aren't the people that are sitting back in their feather stuffed chairs sipping lemonade.

One person that I thought about was President Monson.  I'm sure his life is anything but responsibility free, but he is forever happy, always smiling.  How?  I realized that happiness comes when you let go of the things you can't control, when you live a simple life and only do what you can.

For example, lets say that you have to set the table for 9 people.  This means that you need nine cups.  So you go to the cupboard which containers 9 glass cups.  You look at the cups, then you look at your hands.  You know that you can carry 4 cups, maybe 5, without dropping them, but you need 9, and you don't want to have to come back.  So what, as humans, do we usually do?  We try to carry all the cups.  But then the inevitable happens. You drop the cups, now you have a bigger problem than you started with, and no cups.

We can't do everything.  There are some things that are just out of our control, and I think the people who accept that, and live each day, only doing what they can, are the people who find the most happiness.  So what if you have to take two trips to bring the cups?  Does it take more time?  Yes, but it is more effective, and less stressful.

Life gives us responsibility, and sometimes we think that we have to complete the responsibility perfectly or we are failures.  But we forget to be patient with ourselves, and we forget that most of the things we worry about do not have eternal consequences, and the things that do, God will help us.  If it was of eternal consequence to put 9 cups on the table, and bring them all in one trip, than God would provide a way.  He would send an extra set of hands to help us.  I think that stress is a lack of trust that God will help you complete what you have been called to do.

There, I hope that made sense.  Snap, I'm really losing the ability to speak English and express myself.

So, this is my last week with Hermana Leyva.  Our district leader said he is pretty sure we are getting separated;(  Worst day ever!!  I just love Hermana Leyva so so so much!  Has it been perfect?  NO!  We've had our differences, and our frustrations, but we work through them, and we just love each other more.  I'm just happy that changes don't exist in marriage. Okay, 6 weeks is up, time to find a new husband . . . FOME!  But, we've had a good run together.

Okay, now to respond to all unanswered questions;

1. I am not sure about the Salt Lake broadcast.  I hope we get to watch it.

2. And I found that picture in an old ensign, but it's okay, I can live without it;(

3. I don't know any missionaries going home this next week, but I will probably be in the office this week for changes, so I will ask.

Basically you are all amazing.  Sorry this email is kinda fome, I just don't really have much to say.  It was a weird weird week.  Also, I can't believe that Braden is engaged!  But, don't worry about Brazil.  They are about to receive the greatest missionary ever!!  And Brennen comes home in less than a month!!!  What?  Didn't he just leave?  Wow, I really can't believe that.  I bet Jackie is so excited!

Okay, well, have an amazing summer.  I am going to send pictures to make up for the lame email.  If you want to say anything or ask anything, I will be here, loading pictures ;)  

Love from Chile, 

Hermana Ostler

WE TORE IT UP THIS WEEK!!

Familia!

First, a message to Christian . . . PERU IS AMAZING!!  My comp is from Peru and I am so excited for you!!  You are going to be eating the best food in the world.  Its super spicy, but amazing!  My favorite so far is Pollado!!  Oh it´s so so so good!!  Also, Corazon is really good, but I haven't tired cuy (guinea pig) but my comp says its super good!  Also, a member in the ward who we eat with who is from Peru says she is going to make me cow stomach.  She says its super good, but my comp hates it!!  We´ll see.

Second! I didn't get a package this week, but thank you so so so so much for sending me so much stuff!!  Basically you are the best ever!  The food here doesn't make me sick. The last package I got had skittles and tights, and dove chocolate.  Sometimes the office elders don't get the mail sorted on time so it just sits in the office for a few weeks.  But I will let you know when I get everything.  Oh, have I told you that you are an amazing mother!!

This is my peruvian Aunt.  I love love love her so much!!

Now for my week.  I´m going to start with a story.  So on Tuesday, we started out the day with the determination to find new investigators.  We were still a little disanimated from the week before, and everything that happened with P**, and just knocking so many doors.  We decided to change the ways that we were doing contacts. Instead of saying something like "Hi, we´re missionaries of the Church of Jesus Christ, and we share a message that the Church of Jesus Christ is nueva aqui in la earth, when can we share this message with you?" We started saying "Hi, we are servants of the Lord (or representatives of Jesus Christ) and he sent us here to talk to you (or, the message we are going to share will change your life).  Do you believe in God?  What importance does God have in your life?  Can we enter your home and offer a prayer for your family?"

The first door we knocked on Tuesday, I said something like that, and we got a reference form that contact, then the second door we knocked, Hermana Leyve did the same thing and the mujer let us enter her house.  Her name is M**, which means miracles, and she was a miracle for us.  Turns out she is an old investigator that now wants to start being taught again because she has noticed a difference in her life, a lack of peace, and tranquilidad now that the missionaries aren't stopping my anymore.  We put her with a fetcha in the first visit.

That visit set the mood for the rest of our week.  Doors opened, and we enter houses.  We taught the restored gospel.  Seek and you shall find, Knock and it shall be opened.  WE TORE IT UP THIS WEEK!!  Miracles behind every door, on every street.  It was just amazing!!

As for P** . . . well ..  .. we passed by her house on Tuesday, prepared to reteach her the law of chastity, and basically be super frank and say that she was sinning.  She was committing one of the most terrible sins in the sight of God and that someday she would have to report before him, and tell him that she knowing lived in sin.  But, we got there, and started out the lesson with Mosiah 18: 10 and I asked her what impeded her from being baptized, we were prepared for her to say the law of chastity and that she still didn't want to get married.  But she answered in these words "Nada Hermana.  Ustedes saben que yo quiero bautizarme."

We paused.  Not really sure how to continue.  Then she went in and told us that she talked to the man she is living with, and that he said he has always wanted to marry her, and that she feels like marriage is the right thing!!!  I have never felt so much joy in my life!!!!  So she is still as gold as they come!  Now, we just have to convince her to put aside the part for now and just get the marriage document so she can be baptized with her son on the 16th and right before transfers.

Thank you so so so much for praying for her and for fasting for her.  I know that it helped.  Her son is starting to have doubts and fears about his baptism, but this week in church, after he listened to all the testimonies of the youth, and how all the young men are planning on serving missions, he asked me if he could serve a mission!!  Satan is working so so so hard on them right now, because they are amazing, and he does not want them on the Lords side.  But, we have seen so many miracles in this work, and I know without a doubt that they will enter the waters of baptism, and I am praying so so so hard that it will be on June 16th with both Hermana Leyva and I.

As far as transfers go, we are pretty sure that Hermana Leyva will be leaving:(  Basically I am going to cry that day!!  She is like my Peruvian sister.  I feel like I have known her forever!  And we are just such a great team.  I´ve learned so so so much from her!  Also, this week on Thursday we had interviews with President, and he told both of us that he is beyond impressed with the work we are doing, and that he has never had to missionaries as young in the field as us together.  He said that usually missionaries slowly progress, but that Hermana Leyva and I have just shot up!  He also asked a lot about how I would feel to lead a sector.  I told him that my biggest obstacle was still Spanish, but that if I was called to do that, then I know the Lord would provide a way.  He gave me some super advise that will help my Spanish.

This week I got two letters from AMY!!  Basically you are the greatest ever and I loved the pictures!! 

Here´s a funny experience for you.  So this week, we visited N**, a Vajita who really doesn't remember anything.  It was the first time we visited her, and she forgot that we had made an appointment with her the last week.  But she invited us in and offered us tea and then coffee.  We obviously denied both, but she was determined to feed us something.  But the only thing she had was milk.  So we accepted.  But this wasn't regular milk, it was powdered milk. ..  like the stuff you feed to your baby!!  So we drank warm powdered milk with her, as she asked us the same questions over and over again because she could never remember the answers!!  It was so so funny!

Now a spiritual experience.  So Hermana Leyva´s old stake president was in Chile and he came to our ward yesterday with a suitcase full of stuff from Hermana Leyva´s mom.  The member that we had lunch with yesterday invited him to have lunch with us too!

This is the old stake president of Hermana Leyva and the family we ate with.

Hermano D* who is sitting next to his wife has terminal cancer and is amazing!  The most amazing example of faith and trust in the Lord.  I wish you could meet him.  He never ever gets down even though he knows he is dying and is going to leave his beautiful family behind.  He has a perfect hope for the future and a trust in the lord

Afterwards we told him that we would walk him to the metro.  On our way we passed the house of one of our investigators.  An old lady that we visit because she is lonely, and we always sing a song with her and share a scripture.  She is really a special woman.  So sweet and so innocent.  There is really a special spirit about her.

Well, we asked this member if he wanted to visit her with us.  He said yes.  So we passed by her house, and she invited us in.  We shared a scripture about Gods love and how he will never forget her even if she feels lonely.  Then she started telling us that her health right now isn't so good, and that she is always lonely.  She told us she always leaves her door open so that anyone who passes by can enter and visit her if she wants.  She told us that her door is always open for us, and she is so so so grateful for our visits.

We asked her if she wanted a blessing of health from the member, she accepted.  We than explained a little about blessings and the authority of the church.  After that, the member gave her a beautiful blessing, and she started to cry.  Afterwards she said she had never heard anything so beautiful before.  It was a super spiritual experience.  I then testified of Gods love for her.  I literally just opened my mouth and talked.  I didn't have anything planned to say, and I talked I knew that I wasn't saying my words.  Christ was talking through me to tell this beautiful old woman that he loves her, and that he will never ever ever forget her.  Wow, I get goosebumps just remembering it.

Then, later that night we went over to visit Hermana M** who payed her tithing for the first time this week!  She was so so so excited.  One of her daughters asked if I would make brownies for them, and I started asking if they had certain ingredients and this is how she responded: "Hermana, we have an abundance in this house because I paid my tithing.  Go into the kitchen and you will find everything you need."  Wow, what faith!!  It is so amazing to see her changing her life little by little, along with her daughters.  They were inactive for about 6 years, and they just started coming back to church within the last year and now she and her husband are preparing to enter the temple!!

So I made the brownies and they were the best brownies I have ever made.  Than we ate all of them!!  It was just us girls, and it was so so so fun!!  Of course we shared a scripture, and we taught them about patriarchal blessings, but it felt like a girls night!!  Oh, and we planned the wedding of her daughter and Harrison.  I told her she has two years to learn English.  And she wants me to tell Harrison that she loves to cook, and clean, and that she will make delicious Peruvian food for him for the rest of his life, but that he is not aloud to get fat.

So, I´m not really sure why I was on your mind all week mom, cause really, I have been doing great!!  Yeah, I still have hard times, and I pass through rough spots, but I´m great!  On Thursday I was missing you a lot, cause I talked to Hermana Essig, and she is the closet thing I have to a mom out here.  We talked about baking, and it was just so so so familiar to talk to someone in my language about something as simple as cutting back on the butter, or adding more flour so they cookies turn out right.  But, we have to have the hard times or we never change.

This week I was thinking about how different I feel.  I just feel stronger, closer to Christ, and happier, even when I'm passing through hard times.  Everyone says that the mission changes you, and everyone comments about how different RMS are.  They always say "Oh, the mission changed him."  But I´m starting to realize the mission doesn't change you.  You can serve a mission and come back the same person.  Christ changes you.

Well, I love you all so so so much!  Thanks for the prayers, and the letters and for being amazingly awesome!!

Con Amor,

Hermana Ostler

We went around the corner and cried some more

Familia!

Spanish Brain got fried this week.  So it was great to read about the reunion, and all that jazz.  Sounds like a ton of fun, and I would have loved to have been there.  But I´m here, and I only have like 15 months left so I'm not going to wish any of it away. 

So as for my week . . . well, it was another week of knocking doors and not finding anyone to teach.  The new sector that we are focusing in hasn't seen missionaries for a while.  The people we talk to are all very amable, pero they are too busy, not interested, or Catholic. The beginning of the week was pretty hard.  Hna Leyva and I were just super down about not having very much success, even though we felt like we were doing all we could.  To our best knowledge, we were following PMG and working as effectively as we knew how.  We were testifying, talking to EVERYONE, asking for references, contacting references, visiting less actives, asking for references, visiting members, asking for references, calling members to accompany us to lesson, and did I mention that we asked for references!!!!  But nothing. We didn't find anyone new to teach, and we only had like 3 or 4 investigators.

Then on top of all this, we find out that our golden investigator, P**, who was supposed to get baptized this week with her son, isn't actually "legally" married to the man she is living with.  In the first lesson that we taught them, she told us that her and J** have 4 years of marriage, but when we taught the law of chastity this week, she told us that they aren't actually "legally married," but that having a kid together is just as good a promise as a certificate.

That was a super hard lesson for us to teach.  We discovered that she is super feminist, and doesn't want to get married.  We testified to her of the blessings of marriage, and we were both crying so much!  P** said she would pray, and ask God if marriage was the path for her.  We said a kneeling prayer with her before we left, then we went around the corner and cried some more.

That happened on Tuesday, and all week we have felt her slipping away.  We had two appointments with her that she cancelled, and then showed up an hour late to the third lesson.  She was never like that before.  It has been really hard.  We just love her so much, and she really wanted to get baptized.  She knows that this church is true, but now she is offended that she can't get baptized because she isn't married.  She doesn't understand the importance of chastity.

So now we are working on gaining back her trust.  Her son is still going to get baptized, but he needs a few for assistances to the iglesia first.  P** has seen the change in D** since he started participating in the young mens program, and going to mutual, and church.  So have we.  The gospel is really amazing.  It changes lives.  And we are praying that God will soften P**´s heart, and she can be baptized with her son.

So after all these things were happening: no one listening to us, losing P**, all our lessons with members falling through, we starting asking ourselves, "is it them? or is it us?"  In the end, we were doing everything we could . . . but were we being everything we could?  We learned what it means to qualify yourself for the work and for the guidance of the Lord. Yeah, we were asking for references, we were knocking doors, we were talking to everyone, but why?  Was if for another number, or for the opportunity to invite another soul so come unto Christ?  We realized that we had to sanctify ourselves first through repentance, fasting and prayer.  We had to give ourselves to the Lord, heart, might mind and strength so that He could mold us into the missionaries He needs.

I realized this week that even if you are doing all you can, you can always do more.  I learned what it means to wait on the Lord.  I learned that having faith means having patience to suffer through the trails with hope, and hope is the patience to wait on the promised blessings of the Lord when you are not only doing all you can, but being all you can.

This week, as I turned to the Lord in all my thoughts, in all my prayers, I felt him walk beside me, and strengthen me as yet another door was slammed in the face. I´ve taken another step in my journey to understand the atonement of Jesus Christ.

This week, when I would get down about the situation, sometimes I got frustrated with myself.  I would think "Why am I feeling like this?  In my life I have done hard things, and I've had other days like this on my mission, why haven't I learned how to make myself happy?"  I guess I felt like I had passed through enough refiners fires in my life, and I should be at the point where I am confident in who I am.

I remember the thought "I thought I already discovered who I am," pass through my mind this week, and that got me thinking about the word discover.  I'm sure you have all heard that middle school is where you start to "discover" who you are, but I´m sure you´ve also heard that high school is where you "discover" who you are . . . but wait . . . isn't it college where you "discover" who you are.  The thing is, that you can´t discover something more than once.  Pirates discover buried treasure, and mothers discover that their children don't like to eat vegetables, but people don't discover themselves.  They develop themselves.

We don't just go through one hard experience and come out saying "now I know who I am. I discovered myself."  No, because what happens when you go through another hard experience? Another day of knocking doors?  Do you discover a new person?  No you are the same person.

It´s like a log.  Every log has the potential to be carved into a chair, a table, or a desk.  But the log doesn't wake up one day and say "I´ve discovered that I am a chair!"  No, it´s still a log.  But through the skill of a master wood carver, and by chipping away piece be piece, one day that log can be a chair.

We all have potential to be something, someone great!  But we don't discover that person, we develop that person.  I realized that sometimes when I feel like I´m in the same situation that I was in when I first started college, or when I went to Mexico, or when I started my mission, it´s not because I didn't discover who I was during those challenges, it is because I am still developing who I am, and I will be for the rest of my life.

There you go dad.  Another analogy for you. I hope it made sense.

Something else I have been learning is the importance to laughing everyday.  Yeah, the mission is hard, but if you can't laugh through it, if you can't have fun, then you will have few happy memories of your mission.

I remember on Wednesday, Hermana Leyva and I were pretty tired, so we stopped to eat some chocolate and take our 20 minute break.  We could have just sat on the cold ground, and thought about how hard the mission is, and how we would rather be at home, but instead we started talking about how we needed to make a commercial for our new sector because none of them have really seen the missionaries before.  We started scripting out what we would say, and it was super cheesy.  We would use words, or phrases that we always used while contacting people . ..  and it was just so ridiculously funny to think of making a "contact commercial."  We laughed so hard!

It´s moments like that that will make the memories of your mission worth remembering.  Or yesterday, at lunch, when I couldn't speak Spanish to save my life!  Hermana M**, her daughters, and Hermana Leyva were just laughing so hard at all the little mistakes I was making .. . it was so funny!  I just couldn't seem to say anything right!

I think the hardest times in your life are always looked back upon as the best, because that is where you learned to smile even when you are hurting.

I realize that I am not the perfect missionary.  Something I think about Amanda and Jackson and the types of missionaries they were.  Yeah, incredible . . . right?  They probably taught with such power and authority, they probably asked inspiring questions, and taught by the spirit.  Chuta!  Why can't I be like them!!!  But I´ve realized that I don't have to be like them to be a good missionary.  I don't have to be like Hermana Chamberlain, Hermana Leyva, Elder Huaman, or Elder McKinly to be a good missionary, I just have to be me . . . cause I'm different, and I have my own talents.

So it was a hard week, but a good week . . . cause I learned a lot!

Okay, now for some business:

Yes I finally got the packages with the pills and the leggings!!  Thanks!  Also, I got a letter from Hna Chamberlain!  Thanks so much!!  I loved it! Also I got letters form my lil bros . . . you guys are the best!

About the packages .. .  the mission really doesn't care.  Chile is chill.

And yes mom, that is exactly what it feels like to be a missionary.

Also, question:  I need to know if you were planning on sending a backpack or a sleeping bag, cause if no then I need to buy one.  But don't feel like you have to ..  .I just need to know! 

Well, that´s all I got for you this week.  Thanks for always writing me and just being the best family ever!  Love you all!!  Like a lot!

Con Amor, 

Hermana Ostler

It's going to be the greatest day of my mission

Familia!

 

We learned how to make sopapillas

Wow!  Jackson is like married!  That is so so so so so weird to think about!  Saturday I was just thinking about him and Katie all day.  It wasn't the easiest day for me.  But other than that, and just being kinda sad Saturday and Sunday, I am doing great!  Hna Leyva and I have decided to focus our effort in a different part of our sector, and as we look back we see that the Lord was directing us in this decision.  But, we have almost no investigators in our new sector of focus.  So it was a long week of knocking doors, looking for menos activos or part member families, and asking for references.  During the week we kept praying to find that one family, that one person who was waiting for us in our new sector, but at the end of the day we came up empty.  But we never lost the animo or the faith, and the next day we went out and did it again.  Then yesterday, as we were saying goodbye to our solid investigator, P**, we asked her if she knew anyone who would like to listen to our message and change their life like she was doing.  She then gave us 8 references!  We didn't have time to contact them last night, but we will tonight, and we hope behind one of those doors there is someone who has been praying for us.

But, P**, and now her son D**, are both getting baptized on Sunday!  It's going to be the greatest day of my mission!  Hna Leyva and I found P**, I think I already told you that story.  And we are her missionaries.  She is as gold as they get when it comes to investigators.  She doesn't have a single duda!  She just believes everything and wants to get baptized so bad!  Last night we had a noche de hogar with her and with some members.  We taught about tithing, and we were sure this would be her weak point . ..  but it wasn't!  She said that she didn't need the blessings for serving others, or for serving God, but that she would do it for love!  We kept telling her how special she is, and how prepared she is, and how we have never taught anyone like her.  Then she said "You guys always say that I am special, but en verdad, you two are the special ones.  The church is full of people because of you.  I only accepted this message because of you."

30 years from now, Hna P** will get up in fast and testimony meeting, and she will tell her story.  She will tell the congregation how she came home late one night to find three hermanas with black nametages sitting on her couch, waiting for her, and holding the answer to all her questions.  Then she will talk about Hermana Leyva who taught with such clarity, and power.  Then she will talk about Hermana Ostler who struggled with the language, but who always listened, and when she spoke, it wasn't her words, it was the spirit testifying that this message is true.  P**, and her son D** are just so special to us.  They are changing their lives.  They are coming unto Christ.  This work truly is beautiful.  Someday, in heaven, I will see P** with all her posterity, and I will know they are there because on that night that we were heading home, we decided to talk to one more person.  We decided to open our mouths so that the Lord could fill them, and we could reach out a hand to help bring one more daughter and son home.

On Friday and Saturday we did interchanges.  Hna Leyva left with our sister zone leader for 24 hours, and I stayed here with a missionary from Peru who has only been in the field for 1 and a half weeks!  It was an interesting experience.  She doesn't speak any English.  It was a lot of responsibility to lead the sector without my companion.  But we did good.

We taught M**, the wife of R**, and it was great!  She told us that she has been reading the Book of Mormon and she loves it!  So we have a potential progressing investigator.  But I was really happy/relieved when Hermana Leyva came back.  I got a taste of what training is like, and it's really stressful!  But I also got to see how far I have come since that first week!  This poor sister just doesn't get what the mission is about yet.  I remember when I was like that.

On Saturday night we got caught in a down pour!  For the 15 minutes that it rained we were out in it, and we got soaked!  But it was funny.  We laughed about it, cause what can you do.  I can just picture us running through the streets in our skirts and stockings, trying to shield ourselves from the rain.

It's not my fault if the elders fall in love with me -
It's the food that I always feed them!

As far as Spanish . ..  its coming.  Poco a Poco I am getting less frustrated.  I basically understand everything, and I can talk about the gospel.  Talking in past tense is still hard for me, and conjugating verbs makes my head hurt by the end of the day.  Oh, during one lesson, the investigator asked why the 12 original apostles didn't give their authority to others before they died.  I tried to explain that it was because they were murdered before they got the chance, but I think I accidentally said that they murdered people.  Jajaja . . . just the misplacement of one word can give your sentence a whole new meaning.

Also dad, you can't publish my words, cause that is called copyright, and I was already planning on doing it!  JAJAJA.  But I'm happy you like all my metaphors, that is just how my mind works. I don't have a good one for you today, but I´ll think of one for next week.

Now for the business part.  I NEED GOOD SHOES!

This is why I need good shoes. I'm falling apart!

I didn't get any packages this week, but I did get a wonderful letter from Harrison that had me laughing out loud!  Back to the shoes.  I don't think I want Merrill's, they are just a little tight on my foot. As far as the cold, as of now I am fine, but as it gets colder I´ll have to ask the office for more blankets.

Also, you still haven't sent the cinnamon roll recipe!  Jajaja, I didn't think you would with the wedding and all, but if you find a second to remember me, I would love the recipe for those . . . jajaja. 

Well, I love you all so much!  Have fun with the crazy summer you have planned!

Con Amor,

Hermana Ostler

PS.  Thanks Grandpa Skinner for the letter!  It really helped!  Oh, and Amy!  Loved hearing about Hawaii!  Oh I miss that place!

We had sushi last week . . . yum!

It is possible to enjoy hard things

Familia!

So the skype session was awesome!  But way too short!  I just wish I had an hour to talk to all of you individually!  I would have loved to talk to Harrison about his mission, and Jackson about his future wedding, and chubs about his crazy busy life, and Benson about his lawn mowing experience, and Wilson about well . .. just whatever Wilson would want to talk about for an hour.  Jaja, I'm super happy you got the "flowers."  Tell Jackie thank you! Also, is Jackie moving?  You mentioned awhile back that the Creers sold their house.

And that's super sad about the Elder not getting ahold of his mom. I just can't even imagine! I thank the Lord ever day for my rock solid family, cause I know that I would not have been as strong as that elder to go on a mission without a family to support me.  He´s better than me . . . tell him that!

So what you said about me just seeming happy and better, well that's true.  I've been feeling so much better lately, and it's not because anything changed.  The mission is hard.  The mission will always be hard.  There will never be a day when I wake up and say "wow this is easy."  But it is possible to enjoy hard things.  You just have to make the decision to stop waiting.

I think a lot of people wait.  They wait for life to get better, they wait for the mission to get easy, they wait until they have a boyfriend, a job, money, and they tell themselves that when they have those things that then they will be happy.  But what happens is that they get so used to waiting that when what they were waiting for finally arrives, it's never good enough and they have to find something else to wait for.  They learn to grudgingly endure the hard times, and just wait for the good times, but when the good times come they are too busy waiting to realize it.  So I realized that I had been waiting for my mission to get better. I had been waiting to find the golden investigator. I had been waiting for the Spanish to come, or for the perfect companions instead of just enjoying where I was at.  The truth is that the mission only gets better when you decide to make it better.  So on Wednesday morning I woke up and just decided, I'm going to stop waiting and start making.

So basically I think the hardest is behind me, cause I'm done waiting.

To answer your questions, I know that picture exists because it is in the temple here, but I don't know what it is called, or who it is by.  I think that the church probably owns it and so they don't sell it.  Bummer!!  Also, I don't know anyone going home who could take my card.  But I have all the pictures backed up already. 

Okay, about the shoes.  My companion also needs knew shoes, and she talked to her mom. But her mom says the selection is about the same in Peru as it is here.  So Hermana Leyva asked me if I could ask you if you could buy her some shoes and mail them to us for her. She is a size 9 US.  She lived in the states for 3 years and said that she always bought 9s. She is not picky.  She just wants a good walking shoe that will last in black.  She says that she will pay for them too.  But not those ballet flats that I have.  We want straps on our shoes or laces that hold our feet in place!  Also if you go with Merrill's get me an 8, cause the 7 and a half is a little tight on my right foot with all the stockings that I wear.

Also, as long as we´re talking about sending things, I would love the recipe to no bake cookies and cinnamon rolls.  Also if it is possible a good sturdy backpack.  I bought one here but it is already falling apart and it has only been 7 weeks!  They just don't have good quality of anything here except soccer shoes and jerseys, and if they do it is way over priced.  But if that is asking too much I can just try to patch up the backpack I have.

Okay, so our relationship with the bishop has improved.  He basically loves us now.  I think a huge part of the problem is gone now.  Plus, I always make him treats!  And he has a sweet tooth!  Also things are good again with the Hermana M**.  Hermana Levya basically explained what happened, and Hermanana M** believes her.  I guess (she) told Hermana M** that we were telling lies about her.

So P**, is still progressing.  I don't know if I've ever mentioned her. Yeah, I have.  Basically the last lesson we taught her she said she knew she needed to get baptized in our church. We usually leave her a chapter to read after every visit in the libro do mormon and she always reads the chapter and then like 3 or 5 more!  She is golden!  We tried to teach her husband, but he just doesn't want anything to do with the church.  He just believes that all the churches are true.  But we hope that someday in the future he will accept the message of the restored gospel!  P**´s son, D**, is great too!  He has 15 and Paula really wants him to go to mutual.  She loves the youth of the church and says she wants her son to have friends like them.  He is great!  He has lots of questions about the restoration and jose smith.  He kinda reminds me of chubs, except shorter and Chilean.  jajaja.

Oh, we found this investigator, R**.  What happened, is the day before Hermana Hernandez left, we were out trying to find an antiguo investigator, and the address was 3882, but it was dark, and we passed the house 3982, and I thought it said 3882, so I knocked on the door. Well, R** answered and we explained to him that we had the wrong house number, but that we were missionaries and gave him a pass along card.

Well, he asked us what our names were, and when we wouldn't tell him our first names he got frustrated and said that if he trusted us with his first name we should trust him with ours. It was getting ugly so we tried to end the conversation and slip away.  But he has a very powerful personality.  Then his wife came out, M**, and she asked what was going on. When R** told her that we wouldn't tell him our first names she rolled her eyes and basically told him to give it a rest, and just respect the fact that we went by our last names. R** calmed down after that, and we shared with them a short message.  That's how we met R**, and now we are teaching him and his family.  They are all so great!  And he is so funny!  Like he basically reminds me of Kevin and Randy!  We can't teach them in their house cause it is actually the house of the mother of R**, and she doesn't like people in her hose.  So we just teach them on the doorstep.  Whenever a friend passes, R** always introduces us, and he always changes where we are from.  First he said I was from Columbia, and now he has setting on Venezuela.  It's so funny cause his friends always believe him and I got tired of correcting them, so I just pretend I'm form Venezuela.  We have a lot of hope they will get baptized, but they don't really see the need to be baptized again because they were already baptized in the catholic.  But in our last visit we brought members and they bore powerful testimonies of the church and accounted their conversion stories.  We left behind a Book of Mormon and I know that if R** reads it with a true intent to know, then the power of that book will lead him to the waters of baptism.

We are still teaching MT** and C**.  We still hope they will progress, but they just don't want to get baptized.  Also, mom, you are not a terrible mother for yelling at us. MT** screams at her kids and hits them with a stick. So don't regret yelling at us.  I've realized that living a life without regrets doesn't mean that you never make mistakes it means that you don't desire to go back and change the mistakes you made.  Instead you accept them as part of the learning process, and that you understand through the Atonement of Christ you can be forgiven and change.

So that's my life right now.  Hermana Leyva and I are focusing on finding new investigators cause a lot of the investigators we had with Hermana Hernandez were just numbers to her, or another lesson, and they were never people who where going to progress.  So we need to find people who are prepared, and not just cual que persona! 

Also, today I complete 3 months in the mission!  Yeah!!  Like dad said, I really think the hardest is behind me.  So now I'm just going to go to work, cause I am starting to feel the time pick up.

I love you all!  And just don't have words to express how grateful I am for your support.  I know that every missionary doesn't have what I have.  In fact, I am probably among the few.  So thank you! Tangan una buen semana!!

Con Amor, 

Hermana Ostler

My brownies are becoming famous

Familia:

Okay, so I haven't read the email, but luckily all the questions are in pink, cause I think I'm just going to answer the questions and write.  A lot happened this week.  So to answer your first question about transfers . . . . well, it's a long story.

(Due to the personal nature of Saydi's trial with a companion, I am not including any details. I will tell you that she needs you, her friends, to pray for her and write to her.)

The rest of the week  was good, we saw a lot of miracles, but we were emotionally exhausted, and literally counting down the days until pday. But our teaching has improved and our investigators are progressing now. We found 3 new families this week. The Lord truly does bless his righteous servants.

So that was my week. Fun right? But I am so excited for this next transfer, Hermana Leyva and I are going to tear it apart!

I got mail this week from the boys and dad. That cabin trip sounded awesome! Oh, and Harrison . . . I'm so jealous you were in Hawaii.  Oh I miss it! Also, shout out to Kelly Griffen . . . your letter was so great! Thanks for writing, honestly, that was probably the highlight of my week, hearing from an old friend.  Hopefully you will be getting my return letter soon, but Chilean mail really isn't that good . . . jajaja.  Also, thank you Grammie for always writing me, and of course Amanda!

So my brownies are becoming famous here, as well as my Oreo balls.  Everyone knows I'm the gringa who bakes.  We planned a noche de hogar with a part member family because they wanted me to teach them how to bake, and they invited all their friends.  Ha ha, it was great!

I'm still frustrated with the language, and sometimes I feel like I don't pull my weight in the companionship because I can't contribute as much to lessons, or conversation.  It just feels like an impossible task to learn a language.  I wonder if there will ever be a day when I stop thinking about verb conjugations and reflexive verbs and just talk.

As for Mothers Day, we know who we are skyping with, as far as time . . . my companion has to coordinate with her family because they have three missionaries out who all need to call home. My guess is around four or five my time, but I will get to email you in the week the definite time.

So that's really all I had planned to say.  Well, I was going to talk about all the families we are teaching . . . but that would take forever! But I do want to talk about P**.  So in my 1st email I mentioned her, about how she wanted to know what church was true.  Well, this week we went back to teach her and she is just so prepared for the gospel. She read the chapter we left her in the Book of Mormon and then some. She had so many questions about what she read. She is just so hungry to learn and she told us she knows it's true.

We went back on Saturday to teach her and her husband with a member. It was a great lesson.  The member told his story about how he found his answer.  What happened is he had been praying to know what church was true and then presto, the missionaries showed up at his house! He said he knew that was answer to his prayer. THAT'S THE SAME THING THAT HAPPENED TO P**! She accepted a baptism date after that and came to church the next day all by herself! Her husband is a little harder to work with, and we are praying that the Lord will soften his heart.

We also found a great family last night. It started out as a normal contact, and they really weren't interested. We asked when we could come back to share more and they gave all the normal excuses . . . oh, I work, I'm never home. But then as we started just talking to them as people and took an interest in their lives, they opened up. We talked for about 15 minutes just in the doorway, and at the end when we asked if we could come back, they said yeah, on Wednesday or just whenever the light is on!  Wow! What a 180 degree turn! The Lord truly does soften hearts.

Hermana Leyva and I make a great team. Yesterday when we called in our numbers to the zone leader, he said he was surprised. He said that they didn't expect us to have the greatest numbers because we are both new, but we proved them wrong! jajaja, our zone leaders are great! Each one of those numbers we reported was a person, a Child of God, and Hermana Leyva and I know them and we are worried about them, we pray for them and study for them. That is a huge difference than what it was before.

So, that's my life. Oh, if you ever feel like sending Mary Kay makeup remover I would be ever so grateful and box mixes are always well received.  I always Love everything you send! Oh, next week could you email me the cinnamon roll recipe?

I'm so excited to talk to you guys! I miss you all so much and love you! I pray for you by name every day . . . which definitely adds time to my prayers. I love the pictures. You boys are too good looking for your own good. Also about the tarantula . . . yeah, not really sure what possessed me, but I just couldn't pass that up!

Les Amo MUCHO!!

Con Amor

Hermana Ostler